From one who simply never was the guest
(and wonders that such love can still exist)
so, on behalf of all who were not blest,
I likewise send my hope that they persist.
Too late for me. Lacking the gift supreme, lest
without the years that hide what tears resist
or hope to find what blind luck might suggest:
may beauty in these words of love, subsist
in peace. Whatever future stands the test
of simple life untrammelled, but consist
of last, vicariously second best!
I smile, that other writers had not missed.
No complicating problems them oppressed!
Enjoy the loveliness that is expressed!
Terry Gibson
Author notes
iambic pentameters...
In a list
A contest entry
- HUGUENAUTIES CONTEST No.# 43 FOR MEMBERS OF HUGH WYLES’ FAVOURITES GROUP ONLY!! by huguenauties.
750 points, ended April 23, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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A Smooth Poem
Very clever how the rhymes are done here. It's a poem that warmed my heart, a lovely subtle poem
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The rhymes came along as needed, and I cannot take much credit...
I have a very obliging muse, you see, helpful in times when my own versification needs a boost! I do appreciate your comment, another take on a personal experience.
Terry
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Dear friend...reflecting on your write here my sentiments are with you as you know...though deep to some in reading, some of us know how to measure the depth sounders on that ocean floor ...
You are obviously appreciated and loved among many here....and I am getting to know you some as well...Well done poet! Bravo!
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As with other replies, I am sorry not to have found this sooner.
I agree that writing is done on more than one level, quite often without intending, several if it is from long experience. Meaning hides behind obvious thoughts for those who also know. Thank you!
Terry
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A really beautiful and deep write here. Almost impeccably written but I think that on line 5 there are 11 syllables not ten which steal from the rhythm. But does not mar the poems force. Excellent sonnet here and was a pleasure to read and rhymes beautifully. well done
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You're right!
so, ON beHALF of ALL who WERE not BLEST,
I LIKEwise SEND my HOPE that THEY perSIST.
Too LATE for ME. Lacking the gift supreme, lest
The line you mention is indeed too wonky to scan. Weird.
It isn't as if it could not be done. Huge sense of loss
I guess. When all of life is wonky, the words match.
Too LATE for ME. i LACK the GIFT; reQUEST
withOUT the YEARS that HIDE what TEARS reSIST
or HOPE to FIND what BLIND luck MIGHT sugGEST:
et cetera
Thank you. I will not correct it now.
Terry
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this was a really cool piece and i enjoyed wwho much emotion was really put into this...well done i must say i enjoyed reading this
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Thank you-- The emotion came from living it, so I cannot really take full credit! Good to know it transmitted.
Terry
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Nice job Terry. I enjoyed the read and the expression in this. THANKS!
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I regret not having returned sooner to reply to yours too.
It is so good to know they were still being read, even months ago!
Terry
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Congrats on your HM, Terry.
I wasn't aware of any doings or undoings with your poem during the contest. I was glad to see it all resolved. Please accept my apologies for the confusion allbeit late...no less sincere.
I also didn't receive notification of your response to my initial comment. I'm batting 0 for 2.
My mother, a brilliant woman in every respect, was also stolen by Alzheimer's Disease. I am acutely aware of its effects on not only the person but the family as well. It is a sadness like no other. -
Congratulations Terry on your Honorable Mention.
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It is sad because to me it seems to sugget someone who feels like a stranger, not at home in life, maybe even in her own skin.
Sadly I can relate, at least to my interpretation, being more of a watcher than a doer. I write fiction primarily because it's what I am not, where I will never be, things I will never do...and often I just mean within my own thoughts.
There are always words...when one feels that life has passed them by...there are words, poetry, fiction, music even...it may be vicarious, but it is something.
Some writers will live what I have not, good for them. Let them write their experiences for people like me to read, for me to dram, for me to them write that dream in my own way.
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Yem, a perceptive reply!
Thank you for saying what I could not.
We may have for our lifetime the sad lot
that was somehow cast for us, not sought,
not wanted, but accepted and best forgot.
A lifetime has no Rewind, Record again.
With no Delete this side of death, so pain
becomes the muted song, not much to gain
from grief but to accept what will remain.
Life, not passed by, but by deceiving,
left crippled, unable to fight receiving.
Writing is indeed a great escape, leading
us to relief and great vicarious reading!
terry
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simply great
Your a and b rhymes are so close, at first I thought this was a monorhyme! But no, you have written a sonnet of quatrains with identical form; and a couplet that sums up whatever the reader had been thinking of. The title seems to be the clue of the topic, and the adage to enjoy whatever beauty is perceived remains to guide us.
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A chameleon, to fit many thoughts.
M, you caught the evocative function of two separate but similar rhymes. Not intended at first, but the possibilities grew. It is a real treat to have a creative muse!
Many meanings can fit these words, adjusting like a chameleon of verse to Life's many challenges. No meaning is wrong, and all can be true, but for good or ill, at the end, only good still remains available.
I can only write one comment at a time for fear J aime Coudre who is next might suffer like Purrathema did. Getting twitchy.
--Terry
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I am a long way from knowing the proper way to write a sonnet but this a wonderful poem to read...over and over...
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Relax, there are many ways to write sonnets if a FORMAL sonnet is not your goal. Most of mine relax that way, usually with shorter lines, and almost always with end-rhymes in various patterns. Three quatrains and a couplet seem to be the right length, a total of fourteen lines --longer might run out of stuff to say!
Try to end strongly.
My advice would be to do many sorta-sonnets first, before aiming for the rarified levels of historical perfection. I may have had two or three formal sonnets no one can fault over a half-century of reading lots of old masters! Il ne fait rien!
Terry
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Iambic pentameters..Amazing accomplishment..a thoughtful & thought-provoking poem! Best of Luck in this contest!
<3 Maureen
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excellent~
A very excellent sonnet
My mom had Almhizers and it was heartbreaking
I commend you for posting this
Best of luck in the contest
A difficult topic but penned so well
Hugs
Susan~~~
I finally made this contest..hope you come give mine a read as well
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Bringing the photo up to the top
to complement your meaningful words...
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Dear Terry,
Thankyou for adding me as a collaborator which has enabled me to add the Wyleian Suffix to your title and fix a few other things which, I hope, are to your liking.
Unfortunately, it's not possible to have the image with your poem unless you are a Silver or Gold subscriber but Pixiestix has done the next best thing by appending the picture as a comment (see below).
Even without the illustration, your sonnet is a masterpiece of twinned-rhyming and, knowing that it is inspired by your past personal problems and experience, I salute you.
You are, thank God, a survivor.
Thankyou for entering this very special sonnet in our contest and for accepting my invitation to include it in the Wyleian corpus.
Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh (R.)
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Ages have passed since your generous words, and I regret my thoughtless inattention. Apologies cannot undo what was not done. Sorry.
And yet, here I am, finally. How, because of a helpful reader a wonky line was found. And Life moves on. Keep well!
Terry
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Dear Terry, who disqualified you, was it another contest? Who cares if the picture is below the poem, I think it's wonderful and speaks a lot for old age. Alzhiemer's Disease strikes so many people, hopefully we'll be spared going through it as it is devastating to our family.
Beautifully written my dear.Good luck.
Joan
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I did, I hope in error
Post script:
Today I was able to edit the typo, and if possible
to reverse the disqualification. At your mercy!
Terry
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Typo: I was reading it with "ly" and should have seen it. Eyestrain...
"of last, vi-ca-ri-ous-ly se-cond best!"
Without, it was not a pentameter.
There is no command for Edit with an entry in any case.
My mother showed symptoms, thought I was her sister, when she was 55, and at last it looks as if maybe I escaped my heritage.
Thank you Joan, I was feeling pretty low, and your support helped a lot.
terry
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Postscript: It was not my day.
I regret:
[Disqualifed from competition.]
For some reason the photo is BELOW all the comments. Not my doing.
A tetrameter? No, a typo, but I see what it did
5 feet with "ly"
"of LAST, vi CA-ri-OUS-ly SEcond BEST"
I DID have "lacking" first, and being unqualified anyway, an improvement hardly matters, does it?
Terry
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Terry, this is a very emotional piece. Yes, it's a sad story but despite her tragic situation she still imparts her wisdom to appreciate freedom...It's too late for me but not for you.
It's so difficult in later years with the state of some nursing homes. My family was very fortunate to have found a one and a million place for my mother who was stricken with Alzheimer's Disease and spent seven years there. They treated everyone with the dignity they deserved.
You took on a difficult topic in your beautifully written sonnet.
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Thank you! The topic of old age is difficult for a young person to write, even to imagine. I had to wait almost eight decades to do it justice.
My mother, keenly intelligent, was cheated of that by Alzheimer's where toward the end, while she still could clearly speak, she complained bitterly to me about how her family never visited. I was there, but she was convinced I was her sister!
A poem like this can mean different things to different readers!
Even to the writer!
terry
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