Lesbian.

I dive into your murky waters,
Of short words and limited knowledge
Because of my yearning, my craving
To know you.

Every dark secret, every memory you have
And every corner of your thoughts
I ache to be revealed to me.

You are a puzzle, a mystery
Delightfully hard to read
And it frightens me,
This need to know everything
This want to keep you for myself.

Because what comes with this fascination
Comes realizations about myself, and
Who I tend to like and love
And need to fill the spaces in between
All my hurt.

Am I something my father would spit at now?

You scare me because you show me
I am not what I was, or what I tried
To convince myself was me.

Do I love the forbidden? Would the lord turn his back?

I am different now, and you
Beautiful, amazing girl
Made me realize that.

And I thank you
because I was hidden and afraid
before seeing your fire
that made me think again to myself,
"Do I like a girl?"

Woe is me, for I find
you taking me by the shoulders
and shaking the sense into my thoughts
and yelling in my ear,
sweet breath,
"You are what you are, a lesbian
and you will accept it."

And then your full lips smile
and I smile in response,
taking the courage all in
a moment to kiss you on
the cheek-small steps-

and whisper,

"I know that now. And thank you, love."