My heart trips on my lips,
on a dangling thread of truth.
My mind shoves it back in and I swallow it
painfully, only to feel it once again dancing
on the tips of my trembling lips.
This smile is my perfect prison,
the turth held captive behind my teeth.
And I can hear the blood cry out,
like the distant squeal of a teapot,
calling for forgiveness.
The pacing bull of truth inside me watches, listens,
waiting to gore anyone who dares to draw too close.
I bite their words and swallow them with my heart.
I'm free falling in myself,
crashing through them.
I take these words, but I don't lock them away.
No.
I wear them on my sleeve.
Words are shallow so I keep them
skin deep.
Author notes
getting past a misunderstood addiction
A contest entry
- Nerves On EDGE...Lets play Poetry shall we? by PassionsPromise.
900 points, ended April 11, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whats in your heart. by kel dog.
543 points, ended April 11, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Depths of Despair by Tristania.
625 points, ended April 23, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make My Heart Ache by AshesFromFire.
900 points, ended April 16, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best Prewrites on Ap by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 25, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You never know.... by Cyanide Dreams.
1640 points, ended May 12, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you like or not like about it?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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91
Title: 8/10
Originality: 10/10
Emotion: 9/10
Grammar/Spelling: 9/10
Flow/Structure: 9/10
Imagery: 9/10
Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 9/10
Reaction: 9/10
Rules: 10/10
Overall: 9/10
Totaling: 91/100
Wow, this was deep. Intriguing and very well done. I really liked what this meant and what this said in so few words. Your imagery is excellent in this piece and it uses great vocabulary. Everyone should take into consideration that words aren't as hurtful as they take them. Great job on this piece and good luck in the contest.
Josh
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Hmm this really got to me I loved the bitter almost frantic feeling I got from this.
The Positives:
Great imagery and very cleverly written. I really thought the emotion in this was great as well.
The negatives:
None That I could see I really loved this
My Favorite Part:
The pacing bull of truth inside me watches, listens,
waiting to gore anyone who dares to draw too close.
I bite their words and swallow them with my heart.
I'm free falling in myself,
crashing through them.
This really spoke to me I loved this.
Overall:
I give this an 8/10 you did great. i hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
Nice imagery....good use of similie *sp?*
Not bad at all!
Good luck in my contest! -
Splendid imagery and depth, I like the way you have written your poem.
A fine penning indeed, best to you in all you do.
Tony
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wonderful show of emotion
Raw yet intriguing
thanks for your entry and good luck
Passions
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