Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Remember: Don't cry
You’ll smudge all that mascara
Then they will all know
You’re not as strong
.as you once were.
Pay no mind to the screaming
[Its all kept at bay]
I know I shouldn’t think what I’m feeling
[But I feel this anyway]
I drown myself in whispers
Watching faded tv screens
Sleepless sparks keep fading
Shaking aimlessly
[And I think now of his arms wrapped around your heart
With your laughter held so tight
Souls pass through me tonight]
.let go you say.
What is there to hold on to?
A contest entry
- &The Moon Held Together Like Pieces Of Styrofoam. by LucyLightning.
900 points, ended April 19, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites :) Yes, as many as you like, but hell this wont be simple. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended November 3, 1093 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
thoughts.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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hehe i read this and commented already...but i was out of applauds ...
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I really love this and the descriptions are wonderful. It's beautifully written and the emotions really grab at your heart.
[And I think now of his arms wrapped around your heart
With your laughter held so tight
Souls pass through me tonight]
Gorgeous write.
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thank you so much ^^ i appreciate the feedback
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no problem
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[And I think now of his arms wrapped around your heart
With your laughter held so tight
Souls pass through me tonight]
this is my favorite lines.
simply amazingg.
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thx ^^
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Indeed, indeed.
Perfect pen dictating what that night was.
It was catastrophic in all of its pains and laughs and rain.
i liked the arms/heart line. -
This is very sad. As in, emotionally. It feels as if there's only one string left holding this situation together... In fact, you even made me change the song I was listening to, cause it was too peppy for the emotions you brought on.
It was a nice piece, but I can't exactly pinpoint the parts I like the best, because it's good only when viewed as a whole. But I felt this bit was a little cliche-
Pay no mind to the screaming
[Its all kept at bay]
I know I shouldn’t think what I’m feeling
[But I feel this anyway]
I think the rhyming isn't doing much for me there, but anyway.
Overall, a good piece =) -
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Im very glad people can find this relateable and it envoked what i felt in others. i really appreciate the feedback and i will take it in consideration
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"I drown myself in whispers
Watching faded tv screens
Sleepless sparks keep fading
Shaking aimlessly "
I like it, but it's sad. It has this feeling of hopelessness.
It reminds me of my writing.
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