~ . ~
On the outside looking in..
seems that's where I've always been.
Taking risks feels like a sin,
gamblers almost never win.
Though longing for the warmth inside,
I choose to run away and hide.
Doubt and fear still override
love that surges like the tide.
A boat tossed on an angry sea,
I flounder, wandering aimlessly..
Wondering if I'll chance to see
other souls adrift like me.
Gamblers almost never win,
taking risks feels like a sin.
Seems that's where I've always been..
on the outside, looking in.
~ . ~
Maureen E. Halasovski
Author notes
Image is from google imaging (scene from Russian movie "Burner 2")
A contest entry
- HUGUENAUTIES CONTEST No.# 43 FOR MEMBERS OF HUGH WYLES’ FAVOURITES GROUP ONLY!! by huguenauties.
750 points, ended April 23, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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really good
You are really good at saying things that look nice and neat, but the beneath the rhyming, the words have depth. -
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Thank you, Nicholas. I'm glad you think so.
Welcome back!
<3 Maureen
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Sometimes it's good to be there for we can't control another and so things
might not be as we imagine them to be anyway on the inside...
Eddy
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Thanks for your comment, Eddy! Once again, you have impressed me with your wisdom.
Hugs,
♥ Maureen
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Thank you for your blessing, dear Maureen.
I am carrying this poem to Poetry Planet now. 
It is a precious poem, especially.
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Ah, Maureen, this poem is excellent, truly. May I please post it on Poetry Planet, which is a poetry blog I run for my newspaper, The Reporter, in California?
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Thank you for your nice comment, Melodies! I would be pleased if you posted my poem on Poetry Planet, which is a poetry blog you run for your newspaper, The Reporter, in California.
zzz
♥ Maureen
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Ah, but my dear one....though "gamblers ALMOST never win", they sometimes do.
Your pairing of the visual image and the verbal are perfect, I think. The reversal repetitition of the opening lines that you use to end the piece enhances the haunting quality of it nicely.
All of us travel this world alone...the illusion of connection with others sometimes so thin we can't help but see through it. At such times, it seems everyone else is connected and we feel unique in our separateness.
Nice job! I love when a poem makes me think and feel as this one does.
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Thanks a lot, Deb! I really appreciate your feedback on my poem.
♥ Maureen
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Congrats on your trophy, Maureen.
I'm still drawn in by the pairing of your words with the photograph here. Even though I've read it a couple times already, the emotion still stirs as though it met my eyes for the first time. -
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Thank you, pixiestix! The first two lines of my poem came to me immediately. I looked for a photo that matched what I was feeling, instead of finding the photo first. If you type "on the outside looking in" at google, this is the first photo you will see. When I saw it, I knew I didn't have to look any further. Maybe that's why the combination worked so well. I'm very happy with the comments I received re: this poem and photo.
Thanks again!
♥ Maureen
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Congratulations Maureen on your Bronze trophy.
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Thank you, Joan! I really enjoyed participating in this contest! I'm happy that there were a lot of unique, interesting entries. I enjoyed reading all the poems and I'm eager to see what Dee chooses for the next contest!
Love and Hugs,
Maureen
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Congrats on the bronze.
At least this poem isn't on the outside looking in like Sir Ima's lovely entry.
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Thanks, Yem! I thought jenelda's entry was the last one. For the next contest, I'm going to mark my calendar and set my alarm clock so I don't miss any last-minute entries. 'Better late than never' I always say. I'm off to read Sir Ima's entry now!
♥ Maureen
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Oh Maureen, Your poem with the picture says it all, it's like the boy is really thinking the thoughts you've written.
Beautifully written.
Love Jen
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Thank you, Jen! I really appreciate your nice comment!
Love,
Maureen
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This is a wonderful poem Maureen. I love reading and writing couplets...It makes me sad to read of so many people who feel like they are outsiders..I have not felt that so much with family but I have with others...Good luck in the contest...a great poem here...Darlene
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Thank you, Darlene! I'm glad you don't feel that way with your family. Unfortunately, I do.
<3 Maureen
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I'm even an outsider in my own family! O how I know this feeling! My mother didn't feel friends were allowed to me, unless they were hers and she told them and me what to say! I love your ease with the rhymed couplets. You have a powerful comfort with the natural spoken rhythms of English, and it makes your rhyme seamless and expressive. I've seen very little written in seven syllables, rhymed; and your choosing that orphan form is so appropriate. Good luck in the contest!
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Sorry to hear that you feel like an outsider in your own family..I do, too. Thank you very much for your nice comments regarding my poem. Sometimes I think we should have trophies for the best comments (this is one of those times).
<3 Maureen
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I don't know what it is about rhyming couplets
that always draws me in. Is it because it lets
the rhymes be easily seen? Added rhythmic too
on reading it through, it's true I've added you
to my list. No guarantees if you please, but it's
kind of nice to cast a hint of my list of hits.
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Thank you kindly, Terry! It is very nice to know that you added me to your list! I consider that a huge compliment!
<3 Maureen
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Dear Maureen, what a magnificent poem and a fantastic take on the picture. You have a wonderful way with words my dear Soul/ Sister, your poems are a pleasure to read.
Good luck.
Love Joan
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Thank you very much, my sweet Soul/Sister! I really appreciate your wonderful comment!
Love you!
Maureen
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excellent
Sis
This is hauntingly brilliant...
Love it..........and best of luck in the contest
Love how you did the repeat of on the outside looking in........
Love ya
Your sis
Susan~~~
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I'm going to get a big head seeing words like brilliant being used to describe my poem. Thanks a lot, Sis!!!
Love you, too!
Maureen
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i love when you write and no matter how far and in betwwen, i still get those initial goosebumps i got when i first read your work. you are that fantastic writer that is subtle but has such great profundity. this lives up to the maureen i love so well.
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Dear Joyce, I missed you so much while you were gone. Your comments have always made me feel 10 feet tall (I love the view from up here)!
Love you, too!
Maureen
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Did you write this about me? lol Because this pretty much describes my life. Always on the outside...true, often that is where I want to be, but even when I don't...that is where I end up. Not that I am whining, just stating the case.
I can't speak for the kid in the window, he's too young to be held responsible for his fate but me...that is my fault...thee is one thing I want right now in life...a chance to be on the inside of this one thing...I'm going to get it. I can't say what, for to say it would be to jinx it.
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Hi Yem,
If you identify with my poem, then it was written about you (it was also written about me, too). I hope that you get what you want in life right now..in fact, I'll even say a prayer that you do. (Be careful what you wish for because you WILL get it! Just be VERY SPECIFIC so you get EXACTLY what you want!)
GOOD LUCK!
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Yes, I will be very specific for I know exactly what I want. Thanks!
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Dear Maur-een,
I stand outside the window looking in
dumbly despairing, wrapt in poverty,
always a loser, knowing I can't win,
my only blessing being that i am FREE!
Shunned by the favoured of society,
inspiring only nausea and doubt,
at least I still retain my liberty
while I am not locked inside looking out!
Your poem depicts the plight that untold thousands have endured through the ages. Born into a life of poverty and hunger from which there is little chance of escape; despised by most of the privileged, feared for their envy and shunned for their appearance.
I love the way you have closed with a reversal of the opening four lines which gives a powerful poignancy to your message.
Thankyou for sharing these very humane ideas and salutary thoughts.
Love and hugs, XXX Hugh (R.)
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Seeing the longing look pressed against the window and reading your words which in my opinion, perfectly blend and express the sense of how she must feel. She has the need to belong but its the fear that holds her back.
The picture choice magnifies the emotion in the words and visa versa. What a perfect pairing!
Beautiful Maureen.
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Thanks a lot, pixiestix!
<3 Maureen
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Drama! But mirrored in reality.
Well conceived, well expressed, Maureen!
Kudos for a dramtic, focused piece!
M-C
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Thank you very much, M-C!
<3 Maureen
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This a good take on the picture, Maureen, a very good poem. And I wish you best of luck in the contest,
Dee
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Thank you, Dee!
<3 Maureen
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