When you get sick,
You will find something to cure,
It is comparable,
When you will fall to the ground,
You will stand,
To be yourself again,
You need to be independent,
To handle yourself,
You don’t need somebody to go with you,
You must fight your fear,
And meditate yourself,
To get the essence of courage,
To win yourself to be independent….
A contest entry
- The new you by Torn.In.Half.
400 points, ended April 24, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whispers of the Muse by SubKitten.
3045 points, ended May 19, 156 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - in memory of those who served and fell and those who survived by camo.egg.army.gurl.
1800 points, ended June 9, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Energy Makes Energy by individuality.
550 points, ended June 29, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Please Give Me Good Get Well Poems. by Tqop.
700 points, ended July 7, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A contest created for someone special! Make me smile like he does :) by Samantha Marie.
1600 points, ended July 3, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Excellent job on this. Thanks for sharing.
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That is pretty much my philosophy though there have been periods of some helplessness. I think, if you want to be well and lead some kind of normal life, independence is a good thing to strive for.
Good write,
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a good poem these lines -
You don’t need somebody to go with you,
You must fight your fear,
- stood out to me in particular - being an agoraphobic i can see the value here of those words.
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thank you for entering...good luck...
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RULES
Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering my contest: LYING UNDER YOUR LIES< I FEEL TRUTH SQUIRMING
Please return to the rules. THere, take note:
you've omitted to follow one of them which
requires you to place your option in AN
Once you've complied, advise via IM with title
and I'll then read and enter your poem
into my contest.
Till then
stay
liquid -
This is a strong piece overall. The flow is thrown off quite a bit by the ,'s at the end of every line. Not all lines need punctuation at the ends, and in fact, some are often better without it. Also, the whole piece being one lone, run-on sentence threw the flow off as well. Perhaps breaking it into sentences and leaving a few lines without punctuation at the end will help that?
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This was a very nice write, it was very encoouraging and full of insight. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Well all need to take your advice. People have become to dependent on outside forces tro save them: God, Parents, teacher, the government. I say the only one who can really help you is you
The Positives:
Great lesson that we all need to follow. I thought you did brillantly on this.
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
You will stand,
To be yourself again,
You need to be independent,
To handle yourself,
This part was really catchy
Overall:
I give this an 9/10 you did great. Thanks so much for entering I hope to see you in my future contests.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
Beautiful write poet
truly lovely and good points. Thanks for entering! -
This is a great write, at such a tender age of 15, you have much insight, I hope you practice well what you put to paper...
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I'm not sure which contest cricketjeff was responding to or for, but for mine it was appropriate, I feel because it represents how the earth holds you and supports you too.
I agree with every thing this poem states and represents, and think it was done beautifully.
However it wasn't done in any of the forms of choice for my contest, I don't think, but I love the message in it and will still be in the preliminary finalists because of it's unique and bold outlook.
I think this is a beautiful contribution for earthday.
Thank you.
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Not appropriate for this contest, sorry
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wow thats something inportant in everyones life
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way to go!
Nice work. It has a nice sentiment and is very encouraging. Independence is important. Congrats on a well written peice, keep it up!
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I've browsed through the quotes and couldn't seem to find a quote to match this poem and hence after five more entries or two more days will remove this poem without confirmation from you. If it's my mistake I apologize in advance
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