smitten by survival techniques
and poached existence
oxymorons continue surviving
on frequent eclipses --
nonexistent as
liquid love.
crawling upon broken knees
with palms split open
in perfect circles
fitting your sunset eyes
I learn about
being.
Author notes
this is not good at all. I'm sorry.
--
37 words. hopefully that's alright with you.
13/150
In a list
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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i love your imagery.
it's not overdone like mine used to be or like SOME people's still is (I'M SO MAD ABOUT THAT BTW I'LL MSG U LATER
i like ranting to u
anyways this is gorgeous and i love the title -
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you better msg me!
come back to me plaseeee
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37 words is fine, I did say you could go over
I would disagree with your statement that "this is not good at all" and therefore would say that you don't need to apologise 
I like this piece, I think it's very creative and clever and I like your metaphors and your syntax is great. Nice job, well done and thank you for entering.
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"fitting your sunset eyes
I learn about
being."
Wow. I mean it.
How can you think this is not good?
Gah! -
smitten by survival techniques
-This is theoretically such an odd line. The use of the word smitten would usually have a different connotation to that of 'survival techniques', but the way you've worded it, it sounds perfect.
This is excellent. How you could not like it... -
actually quite good.
'poached existence
oxymorons continue surviving'
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fitting your sunset eyes
lovely word usage, really nice.
great imagery & best of luck in the contest. :]
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"on frequent eclipses --
nonexistent as
liquid love."
that sounds amazing when it's read out loud.
good luck in the contest, and your work is not bad. I don't think you could produce badness.
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