The sun is bright and shining on this April afternoon
A cloudless sky is born again, anew
The crashing of the waves against the rocks in the lagoon
Reflecting light through misty shades of blue
The silhouette of Catalina offers quite a sight
A streak of grey with welcoming appeal
The crabs and the anemones are bound to hunger's fight
While gulls are seeking out their nearest meal
The vessels in the harbor, now awake and setting sail
A busy hydro-highway on the go
And children in the sand equipped with shovels and a pail
Make structures with the earth instead of snow
A moment standing motionless, an introspective gaze
A deeper look inside of what will be
Anomalies of nature treading heavy through the days
Adjacent to the wondrous, endless sea
4/08/09
Author notes
A lunch break in Dana Point.
I plan to revise.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Whoa!
To think you dashed this off during a lunch-break is pretty impressive.
The only thing worth revising is the repeated adverb in this line:
'A cloudless sky is born [again, anew]'
...How about something like this:
'A cloudless day begins its work anew'
~ Just a suggestion.
Otherwise, this is word perfect, and a very enjoyable piece of poetry.
Boy ~ if my finger were to touch your shoulder, there'd be an audible hiss!
Bravo!
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Ah yes, I well remember the beaches along the California coast. I miss it so!!! Thank you for the beautiful reminder!!!
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Hey, just because you're getting this meter thing nailed down tighter than size six underwear on a size 18 fanny doesn't mean you can drop out of your Gentle Intro to Meter class! Get HOT! I WANNA SEE THAT BLUE TROPHY RECRUIT! DROP AND GIVE ME TEN, MAGGOT!!!
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LOL! SIR, YES SIR! You made me think of Full Metal Jacket. What a great movie. Kubrick is alright in my book. I haven't dropped out, just hung up on the lesson. I love Poe and all, but iambic octameter isn't my cup of joe...
Thanks for the clap. err...the applause.
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I like this poem
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