Coming Back

Dread fills my heart,
You're coming back.
I really don't know
If i should attack.
Maybe I should run,
Maybe I should hide.
Maybe crawl up in a hole
And wish that I could die.
It's hard enough
Without you
Mucking up my life.
When you come back?
Back to living with strife.

Hiding is my best be,
Letting no emotion show.
Pretend that I am happy
When I just want to let go.
Want to scream out
All my anger.
My sorrow and my hurt.
For when I am near you
I always feel like dirt.

Running is unlikely,
But better than to wait and linger.
But do I have the courage?
To that I am unsure.
It's easier to run
And throw it all away.
But there are lots of people
Who just want me to stay.

Attacking is what I really want,
To let go and cut loose.
Attacking is much better
Than tightening the noose.
But embarrassment restrains me
From what I really want.
But I don't think I can act
As if I'm nonchalant.

So the question remains:
What shall I do?
Wat shall I do
When I see you?
Do I hide my face
Or pretend hurt is what I lack?
Oh, I really wish
That you weren't coming back.