Waxing Poetic

(The government is planning to ban
the Brazilian "Hot Wax Style" procedure
that they consider harmful because
it can result in INFECTIONS in the genital
area. Some are protesting the new law
because they feel that the government
has no business regulating what goes
on ‘down there’. This info comes to you
by way of the Huffington Post and your intrepid
reporter on all things of female interest.)

*WAXING POETIC*

While I was eating breakfast reading
The Post I saw a story
How they are planning to be banning
Pube hair depilatory
For there’s a billion waxed Brazilian
Chicks from Ipa Nima
Who are great catches but their snatches
All need some cool Noxema

And in their teeny string bikinis
The beach girls in Australia
From all their taxing pussy waxing
Have itchy genitalia
And it’s no wonder that down under
Their mounds could use a medic
But I could care less if their hair-less
In fact it's more esthetic

For I would rather slather lather
On a smooth vagina
That isn’t prickly but feels slickly
Sleek like fine bone china
And can't help getting hard when spreading
Cocoa-butter lotion
Upon the tender slits of slender
Girls down by the ocean

And I’m protesting cops arresting
Lovely looking girlies
All just because there is no fuzz there
And there’s no short and curlies
So stick to busting knuckle-dusting
Goons with great big cleavers
And don’t be fining babes with shining
Bald Brazilian beavers