ancient bullfrogs mourn shifting light
lone duck glides across graying pond
arises with soft splashes
and an echo of beating wings
silence
a moist breath of air
stillness
streaks of blinding white light tear apart clouds
again and again
spear the earth with forking tongues of white-hot flame
thunder rolls, intensifies, roars
trees quake in the shadow of the storm
the air gasps
exhales
as raindrops begin to pummel the wincing earth
shredding the water with fast-falling spears
beating down the grass with exploding fistfuls of cloud
lightning claws the deepening darkness
silence...silence...silence...silence
then the answering rumble
the pounding of raindrops slows in the darkening gloom
thunder travels like a train into the distance
following the dimming flashes in the sky
rain makes rippled dimples as it dances
across blackened twilight waters
—an August lullaby
A contest entry
- think you should be on my favorites? let me know why. by stasis.
400 points, ended April 25, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Feed me Imagery-- I'm hungry. by Samantha Marie.
1000 points, ended May 4, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites! by movedon.
1750 points, ended May 8, 363 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I plan to revise this, so suggestions are appreciated!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Mmm I love storms Rain is my melody
thank you for entering and good luck!
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You have captured the essence of the storm in this wonderful poem. Beautiful imagery.
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Love this piece that you did here lass....
I think we are in each others head...lol
Grand visuals......you caught the moment right in the beginning...................
set the the stage....
you created a beautiful atmosphere
for your work to blossom into immense description and feeling of ominous dark rain......
that often follows our days in the sun....
Excellent work
little gypsy,
Lowell
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i love storms. this is live and nice and very descriptive. very very well written. 100 claps for real.
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Thanks for reading & for your kind comment.
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I like the storm theme in your poem. It awakes all of the dreaming emotions.
Great lines here:
"the air gasps
exhales
as raindrops begin to pummel the wincing earth
shredding the water with fast-falling spears
beating down the grass with exploding fistfulls of cloud"
I like your language and great words choice!
“Fistfulls” should be “fistfuls”?
Very well done my dear friend,
Karina
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Karina,
Thanks for your glowing review—and for catching my spelling oopsie... I appreciate both very much!
--Sarah--
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Your imagery is outstanding, taking the reader right into your words. One could almost hear the thunder. Very nice write indeed and best of luck!
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This is a very good write I love it. I just love thunder and lighting this was wonderfully written. It was a pleasure to read.
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I love the peace that follows the frantic flashes and crashes of thunderstorms. Glad you enjoyed it!
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this is really good! I love the way you worded it and the way it flows. Just amazingg. "lightning claws the deepening darkness
silence...silence...silence...silence
then the answering rumble
the pounding of raindrops slows in the darkening gloom"
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Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed it—thunderstorms are so powerful and beautiful and scary.
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WOW....wow... this was so brilliantly
crafted. You took me through twists
and turns of gorgeous imagery and
proufound depth. Oh, what a journey
you have created with your words!
and I am so glad I was able to enjoy
the ride
Absolutely a breath-taking piece hun!
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Thanks so much!
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