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-untitled-

the highlands look down
shedding tears on her full skirt
from crofters' folly

 

the river looks up

with his thankful smile

thirsty vineyards drink

 

the crofters are fed

from the breasts of the vineyards

all in harmony

 

 

iiv

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A contest entry

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1 - 37 of 37

  • deercatcher
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    A journey of water, that equates rain with tears setting a tension with 'folly'
    The river says grace
    The grapes are juicy
    The harmony, though, seems
    a gratuitous assertion...


  • Daizee silver member
    April 22
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the hardware.. this is lovely

    S.


  • Peripatetic gold member
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    The first two are related, yet independent. The last fulfills the relation of the first two, yet seems totally dependent on them.
    I do not pretend to know what to expect from Haiku as a poetic genre. On the other hand, poetic expression which is clear to the mind and delightful to the ear is always a joy.
    For those who know how to do Haiku, these may succeed as such. For me this is a lovely poem about the harmony of the elements of earth with life on the earth.


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 22
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely progression here in these 3 haikus - well done and congrats on the trophy.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Mirthryl
    April 22
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely imagery and rural tale. Congrats on the silver!


  • Tirrell
    April 22
    Edit | Reply
    Love the imagery Amera,
    a beautiful poem here well penned.
    Congrats on the trophy

  • Congrats on the silver, a poem worthy of the trophy.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    Sis, I can't tell you how much I love this triptych. It is simply a superb poem. Whether it is precisely what I am looking for in this contest is another question, but I'll tell you this - I will be revisiting and revisiting it before I make up my mind.


  • Dark Otter
    April 20

    Edit | Reply

    Damn you!

    You are good! This will catch her eye.

    This haiku chain has all the elements that a Scottish poet will love.

    Well themed and beautiful, does more need to be said?


  • Emmyb gold member
    April 20
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful images and very soft gentle wording. well done on this one.


  • Griswold silver member
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well done, so, you know Haiku too huh? Like you wouldn't!!! Although I have not seen one of yours before. An excellent job...Scott


  • Rose Angel gold member
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    Here I am back again, niece..to say being a 2nd generation Scot, I adore this poem, as I know what you mean by the crofters..Such beauty, yet I am not maybe thinking there are vineyards there but it is a symbol of the abundance you are trying to portray...and also a hidden meaning. I truly do love this haiku...you know them well....I wish you well in the contest! aunty


  • PerVirtuous
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    If you could grow breasts on vines, I think your finances would suddenly be super. You truly do understand haiku. What a snapshot.

  • how beautiful, I love how you set it up! you still always are able to amaze me, dear!


  • Rose Angel gold member
    April 8
    Edit | Reply
    Love it love...I will be commenting tomorrow...


  • Pure Thought silver member
    April 8
    Edit | Reply
    your pen strokes
    anneal words to page
    excellence


    • Amera gold member
      April 8

      Edit | Reply
      Humm... no one has ever told me that my pen strokes were anal before.


  • Kevin Moderators member
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    interesting piece...

    what is a crofter? Perhaps in the first stanza, the 3rd line should reflect the highland's folly, since that is the 'speaker' of this one?

    last line felt too short love the 2nd to last line though!

    • Amera gold member
      April 8
      Edit | Reply
      LOL, thanks for the comment and the applause. A crofter is a word used in Scotland and parts of England for a farmer or one who puts up fences. So in fact it is their folly not the highlands. The last line may seem short to you but it has the traditional 5 syllables as Haiku has a syllable count of 5/7/5. Of coarse you like the second to last line, you're a guy and I mentioned breasts. hehe..... Thanks again!

      Love,
      Amera


  • artis
    April 8

    Edit | Reply

    love the life you give to nature even though it is already rife with it, you

    make each part of the world in your poem personal, lovely touch.~~ Artis...they gotta make a set of guy lips for this site....LOL


  • soulfultia gold member
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    Whew, well composed and excellent flow! This was really a nice piece~and...my pleasure to read, you are quite a talent ~Tia


  • StarEyes
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    Sis,

    Well, now I know why I stay away from the haiku I will stick with what I know and do best Leave the forms to you. hehe.

    This is great! I love it!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • RedAquarius
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    Nice, I tend to avoid writing haiku as I don't feel I truly grasp it but you seem to have it down. This brought back memories of Scotland for me. Lovely imagery.

    • Amera gold member
      April 8
      Edit | Reply
      I love it when you comment on my poems. You’re so perceptive. Many times I target my work to please the contest host or hostess. The hostess of this contest lives in Scotland.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    April 8

    Edit | Reply

    Amera,

    I like this, ok I love this.☺ This part is esp. greatness:
    ~the river looks up

    with his thankful smile

    thirsty vineyards drink~

    I like this.
    Joe



  • Rovingone gold member
    April 8
    Edit | Reply
    Well done. The Haiku showers the reader with clear image and meaning and simplicity.


  • DesolatELifE
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    Nice image. Pleasingly, it made me think of warm days just after the grass has been cut in the farmers' fields and it's yellow and spikey.

    I thought that when there were a few haikus together it's called a Senryu, or something?


    • Amera gold member
      April 8
      Edit | Reply
      Actually is Haiku is about nature and a Senryu is about human nature.

      • DesolatELifE
        April 8
        Edit | Reply
        I have no idea I expect you're right, cos you're an expert (I hope that didn't sound sarcastic, because it wasn't).

  • piccola silver member
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    you need a title so your children do not go fatherless How bout "harmonies"

    • Amera gold member
      April 8
      Edit | Reply
      LOL, Thanks The contest judge is being strict with her rules and she's right. Traditional Haiku should not be titled. If you title it, it adds an additional image and an unfair advantage in competition.


  • maralisa silver member
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    a great colletion of haiku amera me like good luck in the contestmaralisa

  • This is short but nice...a wee glimpse of a picture. , Dannie


  • cricketjeff gold member
    April 8
    Edit | Reply
    those damn bunnies


  • cricketjeff gold member
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    I am not what you would call a 'ku expert, but I like this

    Jeff

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