Because my life had struck a hitch
I thought I might become a witch
Pissed one night I asked the barman
Where can I find the local shaman
So many wonders shown to me
I can't explain the ecstasy
as those spirits entered me
[it seems that rum will set me free]
[truly without hypocrisy]
So many years [or was it hours]
until I attained full powers
Now I wander in delight
proclaiming all is peace and light
Oh dear Mother [aspect one]
You've been there since time begun
Welcome to our gathering
[aspect three is slavering]
here on earth am I proclaiming
so much rubbish in your naming
If you pay me for the chance
I'll do my really powerful chants
I will defeat the mighty dragon
[if you'll only pass the flagon]
Listen well for I have spoken
[after payment with a token]
Offer me your credit card
I'll cast your spell [its not too hard]
for snake oil salesmen such as I
see the wanting in your eyes
If the spell don't work first time
pay by Paypal or on line
Please don't worry about my greed
as prancing shamans have their need
If you're doubting of my skill
I roam throughout your dreams at will
[how I love those purple pills]
make sure you add me to your wills
I'll prattle on in diatribe
[be glad your wallets open wide]
As our gathering gains in power
late into the witching hour
you will see my chants have spoken
[OOPs that one may be cloven]
wish I knew who I was calling
now under my spell you're falling
Whos that calm one over there
OH NO:: A real witch in my lair
Methinks I better disappear
Author notes
This is not a dig at real witches
Just a bit of fun at the plastic ones of any religion
A contest entry
- Come One and All to Discover a Path by EternalFyre.
400 points, ended April 8, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Witches by Voodoo Eyes.
900 points, ended July 3, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble.. by Catacomb.
1100 points, ended November 19, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
All feedback welcome especially critical feedback
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I requested that no humorous poetry should be entered and also, I was looking for 'scary witches' - Fiction. Or factual Salem witch trial poetry.
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This is a nice piece. Thanks for entering.
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Oh I did find this just a delight to read and your humor is so refreshing and worthy of several chuckles along the way. Poking fun at the plastic is a good thing - a really good thing.
Wonderful rhyme, rhythm and flow. This simply sang. Excellent. Thank you so much for sharing with The Blue Lamp. ~Pamela
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This was a fun poem to read, it spoke with reality of those ones who put their money and faith in other's hands.
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I enjoyed this immensely as I, too, believe there are so many false prophets in all matters of faith of any kind. They do make it hard for the true message to be heard. I loved the open ended free feel of this and the humor. It was light and airy and in no way degrading to anything or anyone.
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interesting read for a non wiccan for sure. and yes, what you've said speaks on all the fake practitioners of the world's religions. well said and well written!!
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I can see and appreciate the humorous aspects. It flows consistently and smoothly, if a bit fast (due to no punctuation), underlined by the rhyming. Solidly written, no spelling errors - except for what BearWoman noted. Still, somehow I was unable to connect to it in anyway. Happens sometimes. Good luck in your contest!
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Great tun, thanks!
"[it seems that rum will set me free] / [truly without hypocrisy]" LOL! and: "make sure you add me to your wills" and many more great
lines! 
The rhythm helps set the pace. Great fun, thanks.
~ a sometimes practicing shaman
(in 3rd to last line): "Whose" -> Who's
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Love the rhythm :]
You did a marevelous job lol
-Buster
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