Through the window of your life
I've watched you in bloody strife
watching you as the sun flew by
your life just wasting away on rye
as if tragically waiting to die
so without meaning to offend
Do you, do you
Do you love yourself at all, at all
for it seems your life is to fall
and take us all into the squall
Drinking piss everyday of the week
sitting around smoking shit
getting head of your bitch
betting she won't bite off your dick
a slap here, and a slap there over pricks
Seriously my friend
is this all there is to your life?
This life you made in sin
abusing your wife to begin
surrendered your soul you did
liar to your wife, liar to your kids
a trickster to all your friends
jokingly tormenting us to the end
your fire of life, inspiring the strife
so without meaning to offend
Do you, do you
Do you love yourself at all, at all?
for it seems your life is to fall
and take us all into the squall
Russian gangs kocking down your door
taking from you, your stupid whore
unpaid barter we hear it was
harassment for no particular cause
only a kilo of hash you stole from them
Seriously man!, that shit will be your end
so without meaning to bloody offend
Do you, do you
Do you love yourself at all, at all?
for it seems your life is to fall
and take us all into the squall
Wasting your days on nothing but junk
always drunk, always playing the punk
That's your fucking life
your own self made torment
killing brain cells, deadly suicide hotel
and you don't seem to fucking care at all
so without meaning to offend my friend
Do you, do you
Do you love yourself at all, at all?
for it seems your life is to fall
and take us all into the squall
Through the window of your life
I have seen you beating your wife
and watched as you welcomed strife
tormenting yourself, abusing yourself
and you played hard, your soul scarred
and all your friends, well they're not far
if only you could see how they all are
Oh do you, do you
Do you love yourself at all, at all?
for it seems your life is to fall
and take us all into the squall
Author notes
Sometimes we need to help bring our wayward friends, into the light,
before they take us with them, into the dark.
In a list
A contest entry
- Almost anything goes :D by Ami.
400 points, ended April 7, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whispers of the Muse by SubKitten.
3045 points, ended May 19, 156 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any thoughts I'll much appreciate
Comments
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This is a very well done piece. What I'm assuming is the chorus is a very strong stanza, and works very well repeating like this. The rhyme in a few of the stanzas feels a little strained from the poetry aspect, but as lyrics, it works fine. I'm interested to see how it would sound if there was less rhyme, since I think it would make it a bit easier for you to tell the story. The emotions running through the song come through well in the words you used and the way this is written, and the mild profanity use was very effective. Put to music, this would be a very strong song.
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this is so deep... the repeating verse is so powerful.... great read!
becca
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I like the end best
"Through the window of your life
I have seen you beating your wife
and watched as you welcomed strife
tormenting yourself, abusing yourself
and you played hard, your soul scarred
and all your friends, well they're not far
if only you could see how they all are"
Great write and
Thank you for entering
Good Luck
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