An old pudding cup,
A one hundred dollar bill,
A picture of a girl closeup,
On the windowsill.
A forgotten memory,
Tucked away,
Meant to be forgotten.
A bottle of pills,
Split across the floor,
A torn shirt made of cotton.
A clock that hasn't ticked,
Since it was thrown against the wall,
A letter that made him sick,
And made her curl up in a ball.
A photo of a smiling couple,
Riped in two,
On the floor.
A video of a dancer supple,
With the handwritten title,
'Gracie's Performance 2004'.
A torn curtain,
With red stains,
A note folded,
That was never delivered.
A book with the cover gone,
The old house that makes me,
Shiver.
A contest entry
- [ Anything Goes ] by HereComesTheSun.
1100 points, ended April 22, 151 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I WANT ANYTHING! by Umi Juvariel.
4300 points, ended April 9, 369 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Since Plautus is dead... by Brian A.
1700 points, ended April 19, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whispers of the Muse by SubKitten.
3045 points, ended May 19, 156 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes Only by Aerden.
700 points, ended June 19, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This poem was wonderfully sad, eerie,and just a bit crepy. I enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you for entering my contest.
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Very dark imagery with a chilling tone. Well written all around, and the flow was fairly smooth. The only problem I had with it was the ,'s were a bit overused. They're not needed at the end of every line, and a lot of these lines would be better off without them. Only use them when you want the reader to pause, otherwise they're pausing in the middle of sentences.
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Please type the form into the AN.
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Your word choice in this piece really made me nod my head. I enjoyed it. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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great
i loved the rhyming u used here. jolly good poem
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I don't know what to say..
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I know, sorry it's kinda odd and random...
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oooh, yummy. i ate that up and loved it. well done.
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