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Another Night

Another night with her,
playing her game.
Wanting something new,
showing her what I want.

I come up behind her,
slipping a collar around her neck.
She smiles slightly,
but doesn't move.

I turn her to face me,
and undoing her shirt.
I move my tongue over her,
and attach a leash to the collar.

She looks at me,
waiting for my next move.
I grant her wish.

I pull her to the floor,
surprising her with the sudden change.
Kissing her chest,
and biting her nipples.

I lift her skirt,
and pull her onto me.
Plunging into her,
the motion rough and continuous.

I let her take over,
just for the moment.
She starts to orgasm,
and I start to take back control.

I slow down,
then stop completely.
"It's over," I say as I get up and leave.

Author notes

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/45/120758866_1e3c12865d.jpg?v=0

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Mistress Rose silver member
    April 11

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    You have a great write here, but I think you overused the word "I" a bit. Also, I did not really get the dark side of this.

    You score will be sent to the host

    Mistress Rose


  • Corvus Corone
    April 10

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    Very erotic write but lacks the chill of a dark write. However you have made good use of your prompt and this is an enjoyable read.

    The only real ding is as MK has already said 'I' feels over used due to the stanzas and lines being quite short.

    Otherwise this is a great piece.

    well done

    Your score has been sent to your challenge host

    Jem


  • Sylvyrwyng gold member
    April 7

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    You did well with the pic that you had but I expected more. I had a hard time seeing the darkness in this piece. Cruelty of leaving someone on the edge of orgasm yes, but nothing that was really dark. I enjoyed the piece and as a sensual write, it is great. I wish it had more of a harsher tone to it in order to bring out the darker nature in sex.


  • Master Ktulu silver member
    April 7

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    I enjoyed this very much. The sensuality of this is amazing, as with a picture like this I myself would find it difficult to write without being at lease slightly vulgar....KUDOS to you.
    The only thing that I really found to be a problem in here is that the word "I" was used too much. I think because the stanzas here are short that it is more noticable , where had they been a bit longer one would find it not as noticable.

    Overall, a good job here.

    **Master Ktulu**


  • SubKitten
    April 7

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    Very interesting piece. Sensual and erotic, and very descriptive. Great job with it!

1 - 5 of 5