I imagine you
feeding me your
diamond eyes
and dishing out forevers
in palm-portions,
dropping them down
to my lungs so I'll
breathe truth
and always have a
pretty taste in
my mouth.
won't you please
spoon sugar into my pupils
so that I will never have to
dream again?
A contest entry
- Anything by Beating.
550 points, ended May 3, 53 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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"won't you please
spoon sugar into my pupils
so that I will never have to
dream again?"
wow.
thats all i know to say.
thanks for entering. good luck -
Some excellent abstract and surreal imagery and a very good poem. Best of luck, and thanks for entering my contest.
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Peer Pressure :)
Wow, that last stanza really took my breath away... stunning.
Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest
Maria
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"dishing out fevers"
i love that.
i also love the end. it astounds me how you use so much imagery and still manage to have your emotions shine through. thanks for entering -
Oh, what an amazing piece of poetry. I am blown away. Amazing imagery, and amazing wording - it seems like no word is wasted. I love it!
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Sparcling eyes and sugar, row imagination
Nicely done, thank you
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You have so much talent, I agree with sidereal this must go in your book its packed fill with imagery.
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I quite partial to this part,
'dropping them down
to my lungs so I'll
breathe truth
and always have a
pretty taste in
my mouth'
its brilliant and thats about all I can say
no words can describe how much I love that part
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this definitely deserves a spot in your book.
it's fantastic.
spoon sugar into my pupils so that I will never have to dream again'
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how in the world did you think of that? it's stunning, I love your writing.
and the first stanza is also pretty freaking awesome. the imagery is so original like always.
I don't think I can ever get tired of reading your poetry. <3
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beautiful images...really vivid. you say a lot in few lines.
lovely.
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WOOOT!!!
I love this one. Really. Truly madly deeply.
You're deep, sis. <3
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omigoshh.
how lovely. ♥
i adore your imagery.
i can`t pick out a favourite part, i love every single word. ♥
i`d so totally buy your book, sissie. ♥
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this has such a hollow feeling intertwined with sweet imagery. really really good.
'dropping them down
to my lungs so I'll
breathe truth'
wows. beautiful write. :]
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sweet
very well written i think that you have a talent with it
its great
=]]
won't you please
spoon sugar into my pupils
so that I will never have to
dream again?
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1 - 13 of 13
