Lost without you

I wish you could become part of me,
to see how I feel,
see how my heart breaks down everytime I see you,
I am lost without you,
I hate myself for what I done,
but I thought it would help our relationship,
I never meant to hurt you,
I didn't just hurt you,
I hurt myself,
because I let someone I love go,
and I am afraid I have lost you for good,
...life is not the same,
with you not by my side,
I curl up in a ball everynight,
and cry to sleep,
dreaming of only you,
I am lost without you,
sword in my heart that I put in there myself,
tried to kill myself but didn't suceed,
can you take it out and heal me fully