The waves lick my feet
As the flame of sun is doused
By the cool water.
True beauty is found.
Gemstone shells scattered each way;
This is my heart's home.
Dark envelopes light.
I go, but I must return.
Night has come to call.
Author notes
I know that in someone's rulebook, haikus can't be more than one stanza, but if the famous poet Basho can, so can I.
It's good, right?
A contest entry
- Show me you really understand haiku by Mairi bheag.
950 points, ended April 22, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I have no problem with groups of haiku, in fact I like the concept, just so long as it doesn't end up seeming contrived.
If each "verse" could stand on its own as a haiku... or if the verses could be placed in any order and still work as a whole... and if the whole thing isn't too much to take in, if it is still simple... then a haiku string is good.
This works as a poem, and as a string of three-liners, just as per above. If I have any criticism it is simply that it relies a little too much on the personal. Otherwise I like it.
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Nicely compiled.
The first stanza stands out the most.
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I love the way you have worked this- like a haiku chain. Beautiful imagery. That first stanza is my favorite, I can just feel it.
Khia
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Thanks!
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