How fares the heavy shackles at your feet
and weary sombre shadows on pale brow?
Once loveliness of springtime, incomplete,
erupted into winter with that vow.
How wan a smile that once my heart would melt,
with joyful song much pleasure could evoke,
so high a store of melancholy felt
has stilled your voice - the nightingale is broke.
I drift from then to now I watch and wait
in hope that time will heal your sorry sore.
That once again you tarry at my gate,
and toss away the bondage that you wore.
No better hopes have I than when we meet,
and your hand brush with mine however fleet.
Author notes
By way of clarity,
That vow she made was with someone else ,
only to become a drudge and neglect set in.
This is as he see's her now and so he hopes.
A contest entry
- #180 Winklings Sonneteers & Villanellists invite you in! by Lyndon.
2400 points, ended July 7, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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Fine English sonnet.
The explanation is not really necessary.
Many a sonnet has been written of love unrequited but dreamed of.
You manage the meter and rhyme with dexterity.
The final couplet does what it is supposed to do: reflects over twelve lines then crowns the poem.
Although this is not Petrarchan, you retain the volta at line nine with a change from the second person address to the personal and a drifting to the present.
Good title.
Thank you so much for entering.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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Hope springs eternal and is always a saving grace. I love the rhythm and rhyme you have woven into this poem, as well as the story it tells.
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Bandits United!!!
Brilliant rhyme to allow a sad, melancholy feel that makes one question all that you have asked.
"has stilled your voice - the nightingale is broke" - I adore this line. Very vivid.
Sorry for the late bandit comment, but wanted to come by late or not!
Shari
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Thank you Shari, nice of you to drop by late or not you are welcome.
I like that line too.
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how beautiful.
thank you for sharing
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Thank You it was my pleasure to share.
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Bandits United!
What excellent rhyming that flows so well setting the tone and mood; the imagery just washes over me like a soft wave
Fantastic poem
Best of Luck in the Contest
♥
Apologies on the late Spotlight!
Stay safe
~Manda
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Thank you so much for the spotlight and for your appreciation of the sonnet
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Bandits United
The rhyme in this works perfectly, it flows without tripping the reader up, and the intensity builds with each line. I really enjoyed the voice of this poem with the somewhat archaic language (thy, ye), it created an interesting feel along with the images and thoughts you portray.
Well penned!
~lost
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Thank you I try not to overdo the language , just set a mood,
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Bandit united
Very good poem
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BANDITS UNITED
Beautiful in presentation and form, great write.
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Thanks to you Sandra.
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BANDITS UNITED
So special is love. Something we all dream and long for. So many turn their face and heart for the no longer desire what they had .. it is those greener pastures they wish. They don't know some green pastures turn brown once you get there because they are of such high matience, and this is the last thing they want. Fools go running into the night for something that is not there for them...mac
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Yes! love is special. and thank you for the lovely comment
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Bandits United!
This is a lovely sonnet which hints at sorrow and speaks of patient love. I was particularly impressed with the flow of this poem which is excellent and I liked the olden style which made it seem more like old poetry than modern verse. The rhyme is strong throughout and the imagery is well-chosen and very visual. Best of luck in the contest.
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I am so pleased that you liked this one as I am fairly new to the form.
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BaNdiTS UniTEd
YAY!!! GO!! I love this poem! Reminds me of poems in my favorite English Poetry books.
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thank you, I cut my teeth on those old English poetry books
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BANDITS UNITED!
This is a powerful sonnet, a tale so ably told within the form. Lovely rhyming and meter throughout. good luck to you in the contest!
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Thank you Bandit I like powerful
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Bandits United!
Beautiful sonnet that evokes some powerful, emotive images. It is a piece that you should have great pride in. I like the rhyme, flow and meter.
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BANDITS UNITED!
Stunningly beautiful, the use of old phrasing enhancing its gentle flow and wonderful rhyme as it tells a story of the lost hoped to be found. I did make one observation: it is impossible to "tarry TO" a gate. I would suggest "tarry at my gate" would make more sense. Otherwise, this poem reflects your glorious talent for "spinning yarns and weaving tales," especially in the poetic form. Truly deserving of GOLD!
Luv & hugs, BonnieQ
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You are right of course I changed it I should have looked it up.
Thank you for a thoughtful comment.
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Bandits United
This is a gorgeous poem. i am glad that I got to read this today because now I know more people on here write sonnets. This poem flows well and the rhyming is great. Keep up the amazing writing.
Always write from the heart
Never give up
Kate
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I like to write from the heart Kate but sometines it is not available
to a poet
Thank you for commenting. -
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You have a valid point on writing from the heart. That is my tagline I put in every comment.
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Bandits United
This is really beautiful and flows amazingly. I don't see a lot of sonnets on here and it's refreshing to read something different. Best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you A S. I have become a fan of the sonnet of late.
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BANDITS UNITED: This is your day in the spotlight - enjoy. Liked this Old English sonnet you have penned here. Great flow, rhythm and rhyme you have used in these lines. Hope you have a great day.
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Thank you gran, nice to hear from you again.
keep well
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Bandits United...
Lovely, just so soft and tender, grand imagery with beauitful emotions... the yesterdays gone by and then the hopes of tomorrow, truly a stunning write best of luck in this contest and have a wonderful day in the spotlight
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Thank you Blondone It is an amazing morning to be fully woken
by all you bandits. glad you liked it.
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Bandits United!
What a lovely Sonnet penned in well chosen language of the past, it give it a timeless feel. You have captured some deep emotions here with good balance and tone, the rhyme and meter flow so well make it a pleasure to read and ponder. I love the closing couplet full of hope and anticipation!
Well done dear Poet!
Write On!
You have been Spotlighted today by your Poetic Bandit family because WE CARE!
Dennis
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Dear brother Dennis, thank you for your kind words
Have as lovely a day yourself as I am having now.
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Bandits United!!!
You have some beautiful language here in your sonnet, perfectly written that shows talent and dedication to perfection of form.
I adored the line "How wan a smile that once my heart would melt" - it showed such sadness...
I am SO sorry the bandits message is late, but better late than never
Shari
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Thank you Shari.I love all this attention
and as we have different time zones it makes no matter at all
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Bandits United!
Whoo hoo! We get to spotlight you, Sweet Pea!
What a lovely sonnet, full of softness and it feels like a caress to read it, albeit about a rather forlorn and melancholy theme of loss and sorrow.
I love it ~ and have great admiration for poets who pen sonnets so cleverly ~ I have all manner of problems with the darn things!
Bravo, Sweet pea. Lovely job here!
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Not quite loss Lou, she married another and became downtrodden and stopped caring. (like a lot of women)
As for your trouble with sonnets, get back onto the jubblies.
( a frozen orange drink in a triangular cardboard It lasted for hours.
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Bandits United
I liked the way you tried to capture the style of a past time. I thought that it flowed well and I really enjoyed reading this. Cheers
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BANDITS UNITED YAY!
Love the use of the old pronouns! A beautiful poem that captured my admiration completely.
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Thank you melodies, for dropping in to read.
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Memories, the pastures fair of old,
be found adorned upon thy breast,
when beats within a heart of gold,
and then thee mind shall rest.
I like this now that I see it, very welcoming find I have to say.
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Thank you so much.I will come and visit your page.
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A lovely mourning sonnet, with such tenderness and sadness. One can feel the ache of the loss, and yet under it all, a hope for the return to the earlier love. Beautifully done, ronnica. Lita
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Thank you Lita and your comment was spot on, and the vow was her marriage to someone else. Glad you liked it
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Bravo!
I was really enjoying the melancholy of this write but then...Oh those last two lines just blew me away! They are fantastic! Such a romantic thought and expressed so eloquently. Ahh, such sadness when we remember back to when love was new and perfect, then compare with the reality of how things have changed. Your rhyme is perfect and this flowed smooth and gently the whole way through. Excellent romantic write...alby
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I really appreciate your comments.thank you for reading my friend
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It is always a pleasure to read your wonderful poetry.
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I like your style and I feel your sorrow
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Thank you shadowlyn, it was nice of you to stop by.
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