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emergency.

delusional,
she munched on pills
that were meant to be swallowed.

the pungent aftertaste
did nothing
to the already numbed senses.

intuition disappeared
along with common sense
and some bile
down the drain
where sewer rats
would get a full meal.

hallucinatory butterflies
with orange markings
flew in circles
until the dizziness
caused her to fall
back into bad habits
of screaming at nothing.

when they opened the door
she was already passed out on the floor.

Author notes

i basically was prompted by the title 'pills'
and then parts of that column.
this is kind of different from my other writing.

---
ap name: s i d e r e a l
liquidmindforever round 2 bronze entry
---


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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Miss Macabre silver member
    June 18
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant. I'm a sucker for drug poems, note my name, lol. Wonderful imagery, best of luck to you.


  • aanika
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    hm i don't like 'munched'

    or 'sewer rats' or 'full meal'

    but i like everything else those are just awkward words that i don't care for too much.

    and haha, the ending rhymes


    • etoile
      April 11
      Edit | Reply
      it does?!?
      oh it does..
      ah well. :S

    • etoile
      April 11
      Edit | Reply
      lol munched is a weird word :\
      but I do like sewer rats, full meal is also kinda iffy. I might change it, but prolly not, I'm really lazy


  • letters to no one
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    "intuition disappeared
    along with common sense
    and some bile
    down the drain
    where sewer rats
    would get a full meal."

    Oh my.


    "hallucinatory butterflies
    with orange markings
    flew in circles
    until the dizziness
    caused her to fall
    back into bad habits
    of screaming at nothing."

    Lovely imagery, wonderful.


  • coloringmysenses
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, wow.
    I love this!

    It's rather dirty and grimy, but beautiful, nonetheless.
    It made me remember the first time I actually had a headache - my mom gave me Tylenol and it was the first pill I had ever taken. Wasn't told to swallow...

    Lovely write. <3


  • Candy Morphine
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    she munched on pills
    that were meant to be swallowed.
    -Yeah okay. So you are fucking brilliant. Need i say anything more with the evidence littered through these two lines?

    until the dizziness
    caused her to fall
    back into bad habits
    of screaming at nothing.
    -God, amazing.

    when they opened the door
    she was already passed out on the floor.
    -lkjlsdvldlMJLFSLVSLKNVSKLDNV shit, excuse my swearing but this is absolutly incredible. These two lines are so powerful, they're like hurricanes tearing through open terrrains.

    I hate the fact you entered as it banishes every ounce of hope i held in vain.

    you should be proud of this poem, it is astounishing


  • whiterabbit.
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. You are so talented. I love the way that you've described everything and created such amazing imagery. The 3rd & 4th stanzas are particularly brilliant.
    Thanks so much for entering.
    xx


  • August Starlight silver member
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    Omg this is amazing.

    "intuition disappeared
    along with common sense
    and some bile
    down the drain
    where sewer rats
    would get a full meal."

    I absolutely ADORE those lines! Good luck in the contest. <3.


    • etoile
      April 5
      Edit | Reply
      thank you <3
      that's the part i like as well haha
      the rest is ehh

1 - 10 of 10