Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

it seems so cliche, but...

the sharpness of that granite, the darkness of that dusk
the fruit of forgotten flowers, the lone mistreated husk
the laughs of forgotten hours, the minute hand too slow
the days that pass too quickly, the past we can't let go...

and love the plaything spinning there
and I the girl with starlit hair
and you the boy who tried to care
that wasted winter - wasted year -

(you know it was love, you know it, you know it, you know it!
          and you let it go)

i took the crayons of childhood
drew an ice-colored sky
traced a heart on the foggy window
thought that love could never die

tore to shreds that innocent picture
shattered that silent sky
wiped the fog from the useless window
closed my eyes and tried to die

(you knew it was love! and what it is now? what is it now, i ask of you?)

(just a silver necklace that i never will wear again, that's what it is now...
just a silver necklace
                                      oh but those days they were so golden
                                                    so golden and so beautiful)

Author notes

I wonder if I'm taking too big a risk with this new poem, for I'm sure I have better prewrites, and all of my new poems turn out to be about broken love.

But that's because I just broke up with someone... and my muse just can't get over it... still, hope you enjoy it all the same.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    A very fine write, indeed. You expressed your thoughts quite well. Imagery; rhythm, and rhyme were fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.


  • DecorusApparatus
    April 14
    Edit | Reply
    Very different to a lot that I have read.
    I like it immensely.
    Especially
    "i took the crayons of childhood
    drew an ice-colored sky
    traced a heart on the foggy window
    thought that love could never die"
    Finalist.
    Thank you for entering this into my contest.

    --Katie--

  • sleepinglion
    April 5
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, If nothing else this relationship has inspired you to dig deep within your soul and produce a wonderful poem,.Put not your faith in Princes my young friend, or even handsome young men bearing gifts. The pain now is part of the happiness then, one day soon you will be able to reverse this statement, take care