Glitter and sequin eyes
chili pepper cheeks
laughing and pretending
you're living
Shiny lip gloss sprinkled
on your moving lips
weaving drapery of
things you've done
as if you're proud of them.
Mulitcolored curtains
hanging down in front of
the tears falling on your
pillow at night-
not letting your 'friends'
see how at night
you hold your stomach
and sit in scalding water
hoping the hunger will
burn away.
Skin hanging out
mabeline pimple free
but they don't know
how many Clearsil
face wash pads it takes
to recreate your face
raw the way it is-
how many pimples
dot your nose and cheek
just hiding under a disguise.
Terrifed of being vulnerable-
you talk to the perm highlight
princesses- bragging about
who hooked up with you,
and you tell the guys
the lines you've memorized
from the script that lets
all of you just pretend
but none of you
really know each other.
Nobody knows that
when you laugh you snort
or that cotton candy and lemonade
is what you used to savor in summers
of fireworks and carousels-
who you've become isn't real
its just layer and layer of makeup
of pretending the tears don't want
to fall- of shrugging away the urge
to mess up your hair and jump
in the pool instead of gossiping
about the people who all hate you.
You want people to think that's
all you are- and the shaggy edges
of reality in that you don't really
have any friends- the icy stares
drilling into your ethanol veined
plasma skin isn't respect,its pity
and its hate
You're just terrified to admit
you kinda hate yourself too
because once a summer ago
you were a real girl- who
licked dripping ice cream
and did cart wheels into
frigid pools
but now no one knows
who you are
not them- not me
not even you...
and beneath your dying heart
in the dirty crevices where you
buried your soul- your 'popular'
dreams became a nightmare..
you aren't a real girl anymore..
just a fake doll
Author notes
3\150
amazing
A contest entry
- The Fakes... by Ami.
480 points, ended April 7, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Round 1 by Heavenly Angel.
575 points, ended April 7, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Live to Let You Shine by hey charlie.
600 points, ended April 29, 33 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [ Anything Goes ] by HereComesTheSun.
1100 points, ended April 22, 151 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - think you should be on my favorites? let me know why. by stasis.
400 points, ended April 25, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything at all! by C J Weatherholt.
700 points, ended May 23, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One Person Revolution by flaed.
550 points, ended June 10, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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hm. really what i was talking about. you captured it really well!
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Very very sad read but happens to many girls. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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"you aren't a real girl anymore..
just a fake doll"
this is a very clever and creative write.
it kept me enthralled until the last line. -
great job in this piece. and all though different then the prose type you normally write you still do an amazing job making it work. thanks for entering.
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You're a finalist. Thank you for listening to my critiques.
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This is beautiful. There are some obvious mistakes which I really wish that you'll fix. "Your" in the first stanza should probably be "you're" and you used the word curtain twice which is a huge no no. This shows me that you're a little sloppy but you've got potential. Try using another word for curtain like drapery or reconstruct one of the lines all together. I am very close to making you a finalist but it all depends on you. Message me if you make any changes.
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This is a really interesting poem
I love the imagery that you have used, and the message is one that I imagine isn't limited to the person you are talking to! I was wondering if you meant the "your" in the first stanza to be "you're" - but that might have been the way that I read it the hunger burning away is my favourite!
Polly
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I REALLY love this write. It called a lot of people to mind while I read, and I kept reading and nodding my head in agreement with what you've said.
This is strong, filled with emotion and beautiful words. Best of luck in the contest.
And grrfulness, another contest that I'd love to enter that has ended. -
A lot of people try to pretend they're something they're not; they hide behind a lot of masks and false identities..
I think you captured that message quite well
Thank you for sharing and for being part of this contest!!! -
chili pepper cheeks
-Ooh, that sounded so good i had to say it aloud!
moving lips
weaving curtains of
things you've done
as if you're proud of them.
-Gahh; i love this.
Mulitcolored curtains
-Maybe change the word 'cutain' cause you just used it in the stanza before?
or that cotton candy and lemonade
is what you used to savor in summers
-This somehow manages to capture the mood of this poem so brutally. it speaks the absolute desperation.
the icy stares
drilling into your ethanol veined
plasma skin isn't respect,its pity
and its hate
-kjhvfksdhkfscvn = speechless.
this has to be definately one of my favourite writes by you!
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Wow that's high praise! Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I recently wrote one called Hand prints and finger prints and would love to know what you think- or any of my recent prose writes but that in particular because I spent a lot of time on it so if you have a chance.
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Wow this is really good.. getting alot of good ones gonna be hard to judge lol
Great write and Thank You for entering
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