Howl at full night
claws at the moon above
when people yell in anger & fear
just came by to get some more oil
and I just woke up
Yet they are with sticks of fire
and yet I am the monster?
frustrating me and
with glowing palms
just to burn their puny sticks
and they run and flee
screaming
but I laugh and
fine tune my circuits
of machine/wolf and man
frankenstein
and wolf
resurrected into cyber mold
in the year 2157
here to restore the ancient legends
they are meat and tear them to pieces
they cry and flee their creation
for I just want to howl and pick flowers
all day and night without a reason
they come right back with better weapons
but I just take them out
machine guns can't hurt plasma cannons
Cyber Frankenwolfenstein
of machine/wolf and man
A contest entry
- What Kind of Monster are you?? by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended April 15, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
-
wow that sounds really complex!!! I must say a cyber wolf dog Frankenstein monster thing would really be something to see. I for sure would run away screaming!! Your poem proves that you can't beat the good old grab your torch and pitchfork technique no matter what century you live in!
The Positives:
I can really tell you had to think hard about creating this monstrosity ( and in this case that’s a compliment) I really love the Victorian slash Space is the final frontier vibe I got from this. It defiantly made for a fascinating read to say the least.
The Negatives:
You have a few grammar errors. One major one I notice a lot of poets make. You might want to fix it to improve the over all quality of your poem. If you aren't concerned than I wouldn't worry about it. The word "I" is a proper noun. That means no matter were it happens to be in a sentence you should capitalize it. It's kind of like a name. In a way it is a substitute name that we give ourselves. In some languages they don't capitalize it, but in English we do. I see you have capitalized other names, so perhaps you should consider going back, and fixing that minor problem. I do stress minor, because I have decided that grammar isn't going to play that big a role in this contest.
My favorite part:
they are the meat and tear them pieces
and they cry and flee their creation
for i just want to howl and pick flowers
all day and night without a reason
they come right back with better weapons
but i just take them out
machine guns can't hurt plasma cannons
Cyber Frankenwolfenstein
of machine/wolf and man
This part cracked me up!!! I wolf Frankenstein machine thingy nabob going around picking flowers!! It kind of shows the simple mind that that the original character in Frankenstein’s Monster showed. I have read that book, and I must say I like your version much better. Then again I was never very found of Frankenstein. He seemed too much like a 2 D character for my taste. Though he is smarter in the book than he is shown in the movies.
Over All:
A very well thought out, and well written poem that told an excellent story. I think I would give you a five out of ten at the least. I greatly enjoyed reading this. I hope to see you again in another of my contest you really amused me with this.
Thanks for entering!!!
~*~*~Apathetic Poison~*~*~
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