looking in a place deep with in a soul finding unnatural beauty
what is this feeling within? nothing i have ever experienced before
could this be an unveiled new me
the sky is more blue through my eyes
i see things with optimism and passion
devoting my unexpected feelings into revealing my disguise
the past is behind now
the future will unfurl in front of me
slowly but surely still unsure how...
how can something so wonderful be possible
this new indescribable idea
that my heart can be so warm and full
a feeling like love, only for ones self deep inside
a feeling that only i know of
no longer hiding behind my own deception and lies
coming out of my self like a tree escaping into spring
the release of the cold, dark, and dreary
the sound of swaying leaves in the breeze now ring
brightening the world, with feelings that have been long collected
seeing the glory that was hidden within
the escaping beauty shows its self, completely unexpected
A contest entry
- Pick a word - Write a poem in 10 LINES or Less (U) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended April 17, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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In the first line "within" should be one word
I think the concept of rebirth is good, the tone is good and I can easily set myself into the emotion of this piece. Poeticially though, I think I would remove some of the more unnecessary words and tighten the lines up a bit, also add some punctuation. Other than that, I enjoyed it and I feel it. A nice piece
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I'm sorry but the contest is for 10 lines of less and unfortunately this has exceeded the line requirement.
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a good poem penned, light and fragrant, aye, look withing the soul and you will find beauty that spreads across love and life.
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