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Some people don't understand.

Some people don't understand,

The love that we have.

Why are you even with him?

Everyone always asks.

Long blond hair, Gray blue eye's,
Always leaving me hypnotized.
Thick black eyeliner,
Painted on black nails,
The perfect rocker boyfriend I always dreamed about.


A Scream so Loud, so Pure, so Talented.
His  Words are so Real, he's so Dedicated.
He Doesn't care if he get's anywhere.
He Does it cause he loves it, It's his perfect Atmosphere.

 

Some people call him a freak,

But they don't see what I see.
They don't know him like I do.
He has my heart, he had it from the start.
He made my craziest dream come true.


And when it's just me and him his words are much softer.
More joke's and a hell of a lot more laughter.
He get's so damn hyper, off
Of A little caffeine.
I've seen sides of him that no one's ever seen.
He has shown me Every Emotion,
He shows me complete devotion.

 

This could keep going on and on..

But I Think i've said enough,

about the picture, with words I have drawn.

Author notes

Well this describes my Boyfriend
and today happens to be the day we've been together
two years, six months,

A contest entry

what do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • XxNinjaNemoxX
    September 11

    Edit | Reply
    Well aren't you a little softy! I do adore this piece honestly and truly. You had me smiling while I was reading!
    Congrats on the long term relationship and I hope it lasts a lot longer
    Thanks for entering and best of luck
    xoxo.


  • guardianhost gold member
    August 21
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful dedication

    to a love that has stood the test of time
    May you have many more years to come.


  • angelfalls.silently
    July 22

    Edit | Reply

    aw.........

    aw............ thats so sweet. and i loved it i liked the first part alot....very awesome rite.


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    To pre-judge human beings on the basis of how they look, or skin colour or religion or whatever is a trait that we, who belong to the human race, seem not to be able to overcome. To just be able to take a person at face value, for what they are, who they are, and to hell with it, is the hardest thing for some people to do.

     

    Until we can actually get to know the person 'inside' instead of looking at the outside package, then there will always be people who will pre-judge others. Your piece brings this to the fore.  You know him, inside and out, and therefore your love and respect for him as a person, has grown. If only more people could see what you see. A wonderful, honest piece of writing.

    Dark Wishes
    Wayne Leon


  • Antebellum
    June 24

    Edit | Reply


    Some people call him a freak,

    But they don't see what I see.
    They don't know him like I do.
    He has my heart, he had it from the start.
    He made my craziest dream come true.




    i know what its like to see something in your boyfriend that no one else does, excellent write.


  • daviscth
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed reading this sweetie. You have so much imagery and emotion in the verses. No one can really expect to view the one you love through your eyes. Only you can do that.


  • Vintage Chiffon
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    OOO I know who this poem is from hehe . That man in that picture...looks like a guy named....GARY hahaha.
    When he is with you I bet it is like the world is in your arms and I am happy to see you two together. Thank you so much hun for entering my contest, Submit more please and maybe I won't know haha.

    damien <3


  • Night Terrors
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    that guy looks like this guy named James that I know lol



    The Positives:

    great emotion and really powerful about your standing on your love i like that

    Room For Improvement:
    Nothing I can see you did wonderful



    My Favorite Part:
    A Scream so Loud, so Pure, so Talented.
    His Words are so Real, he's so Dedicated.
    He Doesn't care if he get's anywhere.
    He Does it cause he loves it, It's his perfect Atmosphere.

    very powerful bit here really stood out
    Overall:

    I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~


  • C J Weatherholt
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    Ah I don't think any human can understand any relationship unless they are in it. Wonderful write. I hope he knows just how much you love him. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Bleedingdemon
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    Yea it does seem like no one understands. no matter wat you tell people they will never give in. Love the write!!


  • Violent Glass
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    aww, thia ia hella cute! i think i'mgoing to write one about my bf! i hope hedoesn't heart me though, i hate looking back at old poetry and remembering how happy i was... anyway this is really cute i love it!


  • EvansV
    April 30
    Edit | Reply

    really sweet and loving

    nice job very loving way to go gary you bring out the best in her and the same for you


  • secret whisper
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    Great write i loved how you described him
    his eyes and his personality he probley loves this too!


  • Jocelyn.Jaded
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow I really like this! ^.^ That's a long time for a relationship to last now a days too. These poem is very sweet. I don't know why, but it reminds me of Bret Micheals o.o. Anywaaay, this is very good. :]


    • Ami
      April 20
      Edit | Reply

      hehe

      Thank you
      People always say he looks like a mix between
      Kurt Cobain and Brett Micheals


      • Violent Glass
        May 4
        Edit | Reply
        omg you know know that you mention it he does look a little like bret micheals and kurt cobain.. hmmm interesting


  • HereComesTheSun
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    wow that is along time for a relationship and this poem was a great dedication.
    thanks for entering


  • Darkmoon
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is good. I can understand what kind of love you're talking about. My boyfriend is in a wheelchair. He has a musclar diease. Yet he's everything to me. I protect him from anyone who shows a threat. I would take a bullet for him. And everyone thinks i just say that, but i don't. I would take a bullet for him cause i would give my life if that means he could live. Everyone picks on him and makes fun of him. But i won't take their crap! If they're giving him a problem then they're giving me one! I've already almost hit someone cause they called him stupid. We've been dating for almost 7 months and we're already planning the rest of our life together. And we plan on keeping it that way. Thanks for your entry. Good luck.


  • kel dog
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    an amazing write. just dont listen to the others. you said you have seen the side that no one has seen of him. and thats special.


  • Shuberth
    April 10
    Edit | Reply
    well i loved this the 4th stanza is just awesome, love this piece nice flow and i like the rhyming.
    may i ask you is this picture at the right side of the page is ur boyfriends with you ? and this poem is about him ? i think so..

    i got to read this in a group list
    love this ! keep up the good writes !

    Shuberth


    • Ami
      April 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you
      and yes it is about him
      We are going on 2 years and 7months
      I have a lot Dedicated to him
      (I don't always post my stuff on here probley should tho)


      • Shuberth
        April 11

        Edit | Reply
        I had a feeling it was about him so I had to ask
        You both make a pretty good couple


  • endless-lover silver member
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    i adore this mucho along with the pic you go gurl love your man fuck what others think/say xoxox

    -vanna


  • SubKitten
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very emotional piece, and well done. Starting it off with the picture is a nice touch, giving the reader an image to work with from the beginning. The emotions you wrote into this added to it quite a bit. Using a more subtle rhyme scheme instead of anything constant makes it read more like your thoughts than a regular poem, which works very well for this. It's a wonderful, heart-felt piece, and very well written! A few lines could be re-arranged for the flow of ideas, such as putting the lines about people not seeing what you see above the descriptions of what he's like when you two are alone together, just to keep the ideas together. Ending it the way you did was an interesting touch, and made the write feel more personal, which I like. Overall, this flowed well, and was a beautiful write!


  • samantha jean
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    You demonstrated what I asked for, and described him physically, and described the way he carries himself. It just seems a bit quick and choppy to me.
    "He Don't care if he get's anywhere." - I don't like this line. It would read easier if you replaced 'don't' with 'doesn't'.
    "I could say a million reasons,
    But that would take too long." - I don't think this part is needed.
    This has a lot of potential, but I think it needs to be revised.
    Good luck in my contest, and thank you for entering.


  • Treasure 5 gold member
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutly beatiful I am glad your sticking to your guns their are people trying to break up other people because they are jelious b I will leave it at that.


  • Lady Australis silver member
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    this sounds like mine lol im going out with a goth so yea
    this was really well written you could seeyour love through the words

    • Ami
      April 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks check out the pic
      He kinda looks goth but he don't believe in labels

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