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Estimated Time of Departure

A scurry and a scream,
The reticent wring of
My latent vigor,

Something

I have somehow stolen
From my arid surroundings.

Someone's god says that pride will send you to Hell
Some day...

But is perfectionism
A First class ticket to
Our own personal hell?
Complimentary cocktails
And Caesar salad is enticing,
Right?

I am split in two,
And my diabolical candor
Is stuck to the ground...
With my still head among clowds.

I departed from reality
A day too early.

Every flight needs a destination.

My hypaethral soul is wayward,
And so, so ornery.

Author notes

This piece was in the works for awhile, but the inpiration that propelled me to finish it was for the group 'Vocabulary Word of the Day', but I was confused on which words to use...

Silly me. Oh well, at least I finished the piece!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Three Doves
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    Hell doesn't exist, unless of coarse there is a heaven. And therefore judgment, will not be for man to give, but to get. I enjoyed reading the write and wish you well in life and the contest.
    In God's Love
    Noah


  • Serenity-words
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, the comparison you used in this was awsome. I loved it, great job, and thank you for putting this in my contest
    ~Welcome to the finalists list.
    ~Serenity


  • queenie
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    well i see that you worked it out very well. thanks so much for entering it here.


  • lunarlunacy
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    departed from reality
    A day too early

    aint that the truth



    btw - clouds/clowds i like your spelling better though, it makes me think of airborne circus freaks


  • Candy Morphine
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    Someones god
    -'Someone's" at least i think that's what it should be...

    Someones god says that pride will send you to Hell
    Some day...
    -I love that line. it's so powerful, then contrasts that emotion by slowly draining off at the end of the second line. Amazing.

    I departed from reality
    A day too early.
    -Gahh; brilliant.

    i loved the concept and the language in this poem. Gosh, it was just so capturing to read; i wish there was more!

    • PerfectTonight
      April 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much! I knew about that error, just hadn't gotten around to fixing it yet, haha.

      How did you come across this piece? I wrote it for a contest and then realized I completely misinterpreted the rules so it's just...here.

      Thank you!

      • Candy Morphine
        April 4
        Edit | Reply
        Oh, well i'm glad you posted it anyways!

        --Oh, i must not have been commenting on many of your writes, but your favourited by me:]

        --Ps, i hate when you've wrongly read the rules =P

1 - 8 of 8