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A Little Longer

Some things last for a moment
so that something can exist briefly.

Some things exist only briefly
so that something can last a little longer.

The creature knows
that the food only satisfies
for a while.

It does not think
about the future.

Only that it will last
a little longer.

We are afraid.

We want to live forever.

How did this poem make you feel?

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Comments

  • liveddog gold member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Muirghiel,
    I hope this find you well.

    I am very interested in the first four lines - I wonder if you could give a concrete example of your meaning in these lines which I find to be interesting and enigmatic.

    The 3rd, 4th and 5th verses recognises the primieval nature of humanity - that is in my reading of these stanzas.

    Your least two lines cleverly highlights a contradiction in our humanity. For those who want to live forever it is usually fear that is the prime motivator, and surely it is that fear which will kill them?
    All the best,
    Liveddog.

  • TheRose
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, brilliantly written! I see that you write the truths so many people would choose not to see so as not to shake their pretenses at being positive. Very nicely worded piece.