What a wind!
The gusts waltzed wildly among the waves with
The palms swaying in erratic powerlessness
according to her mighty will.
And who is this you ask?
'tis the conductor of the primitive
overture of the oceans, dazzling
sunlight on the sand,
Providing the foreground for that backdrop,
Immensely beautiful - emerald sheen, mysterious
and deadly.
Mother earth, Mother nature.
She is in command,
And what are we? mere mortals.
Is the world our oyster?
Not a chance in the world!
Author notes
Option 3 image A.
I used the image as a base, hopefully this poem stayed as close to what was required as possible, but if not please let me know.
A contest entry
- April New Members Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended May 6, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
Welcome to AllPoetry!
"the conductor of the pimitive overture of the ocean..." That is quite a line and I love it. I think you did good with the picture, creating your own imagery from another image. A good entry.
Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
Storm
Site Greeter -
Welcome to All Poetry~
A beautiful job in captioning the painting. Polished.
Fewer words would have been better...(as I would use.
) However, it is wonderful. And I mean that.
I would also eliminate as much of the punctuation as possible, as some are conflicting to the wonderful flow here.
Outstanding overall. Thank you!
-
welcome to allpoetry
This is a very engaging piece, love the inflections very well written. Although I did go back and forth with the two worlds in the last stanza, I have decided I quite like it, love the attitude from the last line, it almost winks at you. Good poem, good luck.
♥
Shawna
Site Greeter
-
You had me until "erratic powerlessness" but you got me back again.. heh
Nice and different. Keep writing. -
your right the last line doesnt fit but i see no reason to change it because poetry dont always have to rhyme to be good and your poem was good thank you for sharing keep up the great work
-
nice one...
-
walked wildly among the waves
-
Welcome to Allpoetry
I knew this would be fantastic as soon as I read the title.
Your imagery is outstanding.
your conversatinal questions and poetic voice give a puzzled tone that makes the reader think philospohically.
well punctuated and the prompt was well captured.
I loved it completely one suggestion you overuse world in the last verse. maybe use a synonym for one of them?
Well done
Good luck
Max.
-
-
I noticed the repetition of the word "world" in the last verse felt a little bit like it doesnt quite fit and feels overused but I didnt feel like changing it because I thought it might change emphasis off my point a little bit. That is, rather than being exact about it, it might feel somewhat artificial.
Not quite sure how to explain it completely. -
-
I know how you feel I have fought with this problem in my own poetry
i can see one suggestion... why don't you just leave it as Not a chance! at the end that is very powerful. what do you think?
-
-
-
Very beautiful imagery, you did so well with the picture promt. "The gusts waltzed wildly among the waves" this is my favorite line, I love the description of the waves. Good luck in the contest.
-
welcome to allpoetry
I think you met the requirements quite well.
I like what you have here... the ending especially.
Thank you for sharing your words and entering the contest.
Good luck!
-
Welcome to Allpoetry~~
Seriously.. the imagery is very well written here, presenting the picture with words Very good.
good luck in the contest
Happy Days ahead..
Archana
Site Greeter
-
Welcome to AllPoetry
I throughly enjoy how you've written this it reminds me of W.H. Auden's 'Musee des Beaux Arts'
A lovely poem
Best of Luck
♥
Enjoy AllPoetry
Stay safe
~Manda
Site Greeter -
Wow you very beautifuly wrote this about the nature and the ocean! Very good imgry, you feel like you are there! Good luck in the contest and I hope you win!
-
Very well written piece here
It is lovely the way you painted such an alluring and breathtaking picture of the oean and the winds that carries it to greatness beyond mans will
-
Welcome to Allpoetry
I like the power in this poem, it really demonstrates your point well. Well written and great use of punctuation. Good luck in the contest.
Laura. -
Fantastic
My favorite line is "The gusts waltzed wildly among the waves.."(Line 2)
I like everything about the poem and I love the ending. I wouldnt change a thing
Great poem Great imagery
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
