Do you need me?

I just can't let this out.
All these emotions I've repressed
For These past three months
I've been killing myself

Why is it so hard?
Why can't I figure it out?
I can't think about it;
Please thoughts GET OUT!

Why can't I be happy?
What could be wrong?
I love you I love you not
what the hell is going on?

I'm trapped inside this nightmare
a dream does not make sense.
I'm sick of all the hiding
Please get me out of this!

This is not who I am
I'm happy, I'm free
Now I'm neither of those...
I need to know what this could be.

Then that single thought
comes floating back to me...
its you...
and I wish I was wrong.

Don't you understand?
I can't be myself with you.
I'm comfortable...
but not me...

That's why I lost hold on myself...
that's why I can't remember
What and who I used to be
when before I was so sure.

Oh how this breaks my heart
to know that I've loved and lost
You the only one
That ever saw this side of me.

The side I needed someone to see
I just didn't think I'd end up hating
hating the very sight of me.
and you are the one I blame

You tore me down
then you brought me up
Just like that love song
I've been trying to learn.

I question if this could be real
but then you continue to yell.
and I'm just taking it all in
all the hatred, all the blame, the anger.

And I'm the one who suffers
in the end of the day
crying myself into a numb lifeless sleep
hating to wake up in the beginning of the day.

Why can't you see that you're doing this to me?
I need you to see me
I need you to care
I need you to know that I need YOU!!!

Please wake up...
I don't want to let go yet...
I don't want to say goodbye
please...please...

I hate admitting that I'm wrong
I hate fessing up when I should
I hate the truth
I hate facing facts

I know I'm not perfect
but I try to make you happy...
I don't know what else to do
I need you to love and appreciate that I'm around...

I need you to see me for who I am and respect that.
I need you to let me see you for who you really are
Because I do love you.
I love you more then I thought I was capable of

You brought all of this out of me.
and I hope you don't see that as a negative thing...
and I hope it doesn't hurt you
because when your hurt... I literally feel your pain.

You make me happy
deep down
You truly do
But now...now... I'm not happy...

I need you to make me happy
I don't want this addiction anymore.
I don't want death anymore.
I want you...just you.

Not part of you, all of you.
and not in that creepy sadistic stalker way...
Just so i know that you are here for me.
And that you need me...at least a little

That's it...
I don't feel needed...
A girl needs to feel needed.
Do you need me?