Summer seashells found
Children gathering around
Sharing ocean sound~
Author notes
Written March 3rd, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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This is a very pretty Haiku with vivid imagery.
Well-expressed.
Harrisham Minhas
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very well written
This is just great Susan! I love those big conk shells. Your words bring back a lot of good memories of summers of my youth. I remember the first time I put my ear to one of those big shells. lol I believed it was the sound of the ocean I was hearing. Wow........kids sure were dumb back then. lol
Ethereal Melody
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very well written
This brings back ocean memories of summers gone by. I use to love walking the beach searching for seashells. The smell of the ocean breeze and the sun on my face. You have done a great job here Susan.
etherealforu
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Wow, this is lovely, even now, i still love to listen to seashells, and relive magic moments on the beach.
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Beautiful. I just returned from the beach. I did some shell collecting, but in the end decided to place the prettiest ones in the tides pools that I saw busy little boys and girls scrambling to in hopes of a souvenir. Wonderful write, it makes me long for the ocean once more.
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This is amazing for sure..it evoked such a beautiful image and feeling. Keep up the great work.
LIZ -
This is an amazing write it makes me want to beg my parents to go to a beach anywhere! It reminds me of elementary school and how one spring brake we went down to a beach and collected sea shells and i brought them for "show and tell" this is very sweet. and it is in perfect form!
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Well Penned! I actually find haikus difficult to write. The only one that I have written was that Bob Marley one. A lot of people think that they can just throw 3 lines together and call it a haiku but I feel there is a real art in it and you have mastered it well! I also like the topic because Im from Daytona Beach Fl and I love seashells. It is very popular to use seashell theme as house decor 'round here. Hell, my sister hangs them on her xmas tree!
Great job!
~~~~Shannon Rose
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aww this makes me want to go to the beach!
i love listening to seashells-it will always be something
that impresses me-like your poems!
ash -
I think this is possibly one of the best haikus I have ever read. I love this picture...so beautiful...your imagery is awesome.
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Wow! I quite enjoyed your 5-7-5 'ku. Seashells are amongst my favourite things in the world. I love the pic you posted. The only thing I would change is to minimise the first capital alphabet of L2 and L3 as it tends to be distracting when in uppercase. Otherwise, this is gorgeous! Also, I know that in haiku there should not be rhyming as far as possible.
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This is a lovely haiku about a seashell! I really enjoyed it. It reminded me of when I was a child listening to the ocean deep inside a seashell. Seashells by themselves are really poetic, but you took them to a whole new level. Terrific job!
~Anastasia -
This brings back fond memories I had as a child when the family would go to the beach. I use to love picking up seashells. Now as an adult, I don’t find myself going much anymore. I guess I need to rekindle those feelings again.
~ John
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What a nice pleasant rhyming Haiku! I love the beach! You chose a cool looking background and let me be one to say your shell picture is spiffy!
~Kayla
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This is great. I like the fact that it's a haiku and it rymes. It's sorta lie two poems in one. I bet that was dumb... anyway, I loved it and it doesn't need improvement.
-Pua Aloalo -
Brought a smile to my face. You painted a delightful picture with just a few word. Excellent.
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Your rhyming ablility comes natural to you. But I did enjoy this haiku very much. Makes me want to jump in the car and just go; even for just a day. Sharp visuals. Keep up the great work!
Hugs,
Willow -
Hi Susan, Hope you are feeling a little better and stronger today.
Thank you for visiting my page and reading my poems, I am not as talented as you, but maybe one day I will be.
I never knew until today that a haiku wasnt susposed to rhyme, but I guess you learn something new every day.
Take care Susan, and get well and stronger hour by hour, I will say a little preyer for you if I may.
God bless
Elaine
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Wonderful
Hi Susan:
Brings back old memories. I can remember doing that from a very early age. Excellent write with such truth and enjoyment buried within. Thanks. Bill -
Brilliant haiku and I love the added effect that the rhyming gives to it. You create a wonderful scene in such a short form as a haiku. Excellent work.
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You captured this precious moment perfectly. I enjoyed the rhyme, the short format and the great background.
Jennifer -
Awe.... I want to go too!!!!! I think I will go home and pull my conch shell off the shelf and pretend....
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this is a beautiful summer image for me on this cold rainy night. I love that it rhymes, it just makes me want to go to the beach and have ice cream. But then that would be cold, so maybe hot cocoa... great write Susan! ---Josh
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Or how about this??????????????????
Seashells on the beach
Children gather them quickly
Ocean sounds enjoyed -
Susan,
This is soft and comforting yet carefree I have some suggestions though...
Re: the s words ings and rhyme.
Summer seashells found--------->Seashells on the beach
Children gathering around ------->Children gather sand buckets
Sharing ocean sound~ -------->Ocean sounds enjoyed
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Thanks for all your comments
I wasn't really aware until later today that a haiku wasn't suppose to rhyme
LOL oh well I have learned something new
Thanks for all of your comments they are appreciated
Susan~~~ -
I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty jagged spoon than read a rhyming poem, but it was a haiku, it was short. . . so, tolerable. Despite the rhyme, the haiku was wonderful. Pen On!!
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Excellent
I can taste the salty air and feel the warm breeze... The description is so simple yet there are a lot of memories involved in the concept. Wonderful piece. -
Hmm I didn't like how it rhymed. In my opinion I think it would've worked better without it.
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that is beautiful. I wish I lived by the sea. Oh I do! cool. really nice write.
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Tranquil
Nice one Sis! I like haikus, simple and short, not too deep.
Love that huge shell, pretty. Woooooooooooshhhhh of the ocean...peaceful imagery. Though I don't look forward to the hot weather, all sweaty and 100 in the city...YUK!! Too bad I live in the city and not where you are, must be nice without all the crazies and noise. lol
Sally sells seashells by the seashore...try that tonguetwister 3x! hahaha Love ya. ~Sheryl~
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It's amazing how much imagery three well-written lines can create. Stirred up some nice memories, too. Thanks.
Mark -
Enjoyed your haiku, Sis! Nice scene it brings to mind!
<3 Maureen
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This is the first ku I have read that rhymes. you present a pretty scene. well written
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Extremely beautiful!!
Blushfulmoon,
This is extremely beautiful! I loved it so much. Seashells bring many glory moments in our lives. Precious memories stored in our brain. I could picture it so well in my mind. As for the picture, very beautiful as well as your background. This just brings a smile to my face!
Writing is good for the heart and soul.
Sincerely,
Nelak
BRAVO, BLUSHFULMOON!!!!!!!!!!
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beautifully written hun, excellent!
Much love, Aimee xo
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Short (of course being a haiku), simplistic, quaint etc etc. It is all of those qualites. A lovely piece that you have written here.
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EXCELLENT haiku. Thoroughly enjoyable. I think you did a fantastic job....will be at the beach in july if all goes well.
This makes me a bit more anxious.
Well done.
sam
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i always adore your haiku
not only are they beautifully written
but you always make them so visually pleasing!
~liz -
Ah Susan this brings back memories of walking along the beach collecting shells and putting them to my ear to hear the ocean inside it.Wonderful my friend~Joan~
Have a magical day Susan -
Nice
Oh yes, and, I really am a hypnotist. @-)
Link is on my profile.
Edited on Mar 03, 8:05 because 'Forgot to mention something.'. -
It makes a very colourful picture at first , then (for me) a "movie" or a "sketch" begins to take place *smiles*
It is so fresh loved it.
Morty -
Ah Susan, that made me think on the time I used to go to the beach withy the whole family (very big family!). Me and my sisters always looked to find seashells then was a big fight to see which of us would keep the ear close to the shell to listen to the echo inside.
Very lovely haiku darling!
Mari
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