there is a transparency to dying
as we rise between each letter of this shape-
less
word,
our impersonal conceits
feed the narrow field named human life
with moments rarely scattered
as we left them
& the borrowed life
& the blue, pulsing between our red
in a cavalcade of days, carries us
home
by slow inches & the quickening of dreams
- we manage the pretence well,
swim toward tomorrow as a forever-sea
until - older - we fall into fearless,
not too afraid to drown,
not so naive that we cannot see it coming
Author notes
Edits: 3
In a list
A contest entry
- For Free Verse Writers - Limited Seating by Dalaney.
1000 points, ended April 16, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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A seed does not need to be taught to grow. I think you write with a purpose (which good in my opinion) Your a wonderful writer. Personally, I'm a little afraid of drowning, and heights too and I'm blind
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Yep...Well expressed. best of luck in the contest
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All I can think of to say is. Yes, exactly.
Excellent work.
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i like this...especially those closing lines. nodding my head and saying "yes"
i have a fridge magnet that says "old enough to know better and too old to care", lol
a wonderfully deep and thought-provoking poem that puts its finger right where it matters.
~ Nicolette
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Deep the whole thing, but 'specially that second stanza..beautiful write
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Did I forget to tell you, you're absolutely amazing!
Khia
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Girl, you have such a great way of getting right to the bone ... that's a killer last stanza!
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Excellent. Well penned.
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Nice.
An i am being honest.
Joe
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you've raised the bar. my appreciation is undying
love, lane
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