I smile as a stranger walks by and catches my eye
If only he could see
If only everyone could see inside of my heart
See the weakness
And the loneliness
If only could find someone to understand
I go through life in a daze
Not many people seeing the true me
Not many people even try to see me
I sit with friends and talk and smile
Only to cover up the up the pain
As soon as the light goes out at night
I am terrified
What if I die
Would anyone care
Would I have made a difference in anyone's life
Left my mark anywhere behind so I can be remembered
As I reach out for anything to grasp onto
To help me catch my breath
Between my cries of despair
Please oh please I pray
Just relieve of this pain in my heart
A contest entry
- Second Annual April is Abuse Awearness Month. by FallenFromGrace1102.
1000 points, ended May 10, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be published in the next Allpoetry Book! Theme: Grief by Kevin.
800 points, ended May 15, 111 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fight for the Gold: Prewrites Unlimited #1 by amaranthine lover.
27500 points, ended August 28, 185 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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20.23 / 25
I feel that if you were to combine some of your lines together and shortened them, this piece would have quite the impact that you intended but are not achieving. -
L11 "Up the" is used twice in succession.
Thank you for entering the "Fight for the Gold" contest it is appreciated. Best of luck to you..
Scott
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A very impassioned poem. Almost painful to read. Young people are so open and vulnerable. On the plus side if no one cares what you are or what you do you are FREE to do what ever pleases you. Good luck.
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Thank you
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you really conveyed the restless worry, the feeling that keeps people like you and people like me up at night. You need a hug. a hug and some praise for your lovely poem.
Fantastic end. fantastic beginning. fantastic middle. generally, great job. -
Great write keep up the awesome work. I wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering my contest.
*~*bee*~* -
Wow this is sad. Your words are very strong in this poem, and the emotions are too. Great job and good luck in the contest!!!
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Thanx
And I had fun making this one to express certain thoughts in my head.
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