Nightmares still haunt me
When I dream about that night
Do you ever regret letting them rape me?
Do you still remember that sight?
You were once my lover
My dear one, My friend
So why did you let drugs possess you?
Why did you let them in?
Was I some kind of payment,
To wash your pain away?
Sold for a bottle of apathy
Just to make the world to go away?
What were you thinking,
When you pushed that gun against my head?
Did you remember you said you love me?
Is that why you let me live?
What if I never get over this?
What if I can never dream again?
Black hole where my heart was
Some things you can never forgive
Author notes
This happened on October 17, 2005
I think it was the time I was running in a very big race, and I fell right on my face right in fron t of the TV cameras I made the news. 
~*~apathetic poison~*~
A contest entry
- PAINFUL MEMORY!!! by DeathisSweet.
575 points, ended April 2, 27 entries
Honorable mention
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700 points, ended May 29, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Cry by ladybug..
650 points, ended May 31, 62 entries
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Honorable mention
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This is just awesome!
There was SO MUCH emotion displayed here
and you did a magnifi. job with this
Thanks a bunch for entering
Good luck
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This is a very moving piece. Thanks for sharing this.
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wow, it's terrible to be taken advantage of by someone you trust... i would know i have a poem about my rape, it's called ''she doesn't look 13 at all''.
any way great write, i feel your pain, thanx for sharing with me! -
That's pretty good. Thank you for entering & good luck in my contest!
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Thank you and good luck
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"
What were you thinking,
When you pushed that gun against my head?
Did you remember you said you love me?
Is that why you let me live?
What if I never get over this?
What if I can never dream again?
Black hole where my heart was
Some things you can never forgive"
How hard this had to of been. But one day you need to forgive so that you can forgive yourself. I am sure you probably feel like all we rape victims feel... that it was your fault even though reasoning it wasn't. Thank you for sharing this it was very well written and spoke so personally. -
I'm sorry this happened to you. It's very well-written and beautifully done. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
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......
wow that was great i loved it and im sry that happened
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thanks for the comment and i guess it has made me a stronger character.
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Bold
It is too sensitive a topic for me to discuss but reading it opened my eyes immediately to,in fact, forgive. The emotions conveyed are considerably shy for such an event. I'm lowered by it. The lines most impressionable were:
"Did you remember you said you love me?
Is that why you let me live?
What if I never get over this?
What if I can never dream again?
Black hole where my heart was
Some things you can never forgive"
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If this has-
One drop of truth in it---I mean rape--I now filled with anger-- But heck it's only a poem --Rite???
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It is of false promises that you speak, life, love and happiness are but a mere balance between compromise and compassion. The scale did not read true and the instead of flowers he brought you endless rivers of tears and dread.
Love can bear no such injustice of the heart that the sorrow be born twice onto the one who did this to thee.
I truly wish that you might rise above this and let your spirit shine freely that all other may see.
I like it, I like it so!
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Great expression of pain and emotions. Good poem.
Michael
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A very sad, painful story.
Perhaps someday you will have the opportunity to take revenge.
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i can feel the emotion. Thanks so much for entering.
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This was very emotional for me. I've been in this situation before. I cannot even comment more than that because I'm remembering the memories. Great work. You've got 4 poems in the ocntest and I will be dividing your points up between them. You've got a 25 for this poem. Thanks for entering the contest and bets of luck to you. kahy
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Stark, doesn't hold back
Nice, stark, just bluntly states the facts around the situation. Thank you for sharing the pain of this. I liked this write, a nice rhythm, no holding back on telling it like it is/was. If this was written from personal experience, you have my best wishes and prayers for healing.
I especially felt these:
"Was I some kind of payment, / // Sold for a bottle of apathy / Just to make the world to go away?"
"What were you thinking, / When you pushed that gun against my head? // Did you remember you said you love me? / Is that why you let me live?"
After all the (sometimes loose) rhymes, it was a jolt to hit "forgive" at the end. I think I like it, though. If you added "A" to the previous line ("A black hole…"), the ending would flow better for me (just my individual preference).
"So why did you let drugs posses you?" -> possess
"Black hole were my heart was" -> where
"Somethings you can never forgive" -> Some things
Thank you for your entry.
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This. Was. AMAZING!
Nuff' said :] -
Wow
I'm sorry something like this happened to you, but your poem is amazing and I hope you have started to heal.
<3 -
It seems even trust will betray you in this world anymore
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That had to have been painful. For someone to chose drugs over you. Some people just are weak and can't take that once of energy it takes to say "no".
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Very deep and painful
i feel deeply for you been through it and more not something i like to remember but a great write none the less
thank you for entering my contest good luck
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