my eyes are starting to close
on you
please
let me
shut the door
Author notes
In a list
A contest entry
- SHORT PREWRITES! QUICKIE! by ItaloEtkin.
870 points, ended April 8, 98 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Speaks volumes!
very powerful if a little sad.
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Sensual and short, which is effective here. Reminds me of a popart photograph that was manipulated. I saw it at the Modern in Dallas. Dig it.
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sensual write!
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that was incredible
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this, to me, reads as a relationship ending, and just wanting to find closure instead of struggling with it anymore. although, i can see what you said below, too. it's great when a writer can make more than one strong meaning come alive.... and in so few words. WOW... impressive indeed.
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whoosh! there went my breath!
isn't it wonderful when you can say so much with so little? Love, Lane
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Short and succinct , a thought
provoking & unique take on the
picture prompt !!
Best wishes in this contest !!
Friend Easy
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Thanks for the comment and all...but it's not in a contest, is it?
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This is really abstract, so it's difficult to tell what you are trying to say. For me it brings up images of trying to stay awake with someone, and wanting to just let go and go to sleep. It might also have a more symbolic meaning about starting to be less interested in someone and desiring to move on...but like I said it's hard to tell. Nice job in any case!
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Thanks for the comment.
I've tried to leave it open to the readers interpretation.
However, as the writer I was thinking along the lines of eyes closing in the face of pleasure. Sometimes people, especially women, like the lights turned off or like to close their eyes during intamacy due to low self-esteem etc....shutting the door is also a sign of this. It's meant litterally, as in closing the bedroom door to be contained in the one room, and metaphorically...
Hope that explains what I had in mind as I wrote it, but like I said if any reader wants to make something else of it, they're welcome to.
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