Gloom stalks me like a shadow:
One that I'm always trying to outrun.
But now I turn my back on darkness
And face the sun.
Staring blindly at its mesmerizing rays
Hoping to melt every shadow away
This blinding white light
burns my thoughts
and numbs my troubles.
Darkness is now a distant stranger
Moving ever further away
Pure and unassuming
I dwell in blankness
Hiding away from this chaotic world
My inner sanctuary saves me once again from madness
My great escape lies in not knowing;
Though the less I know, the less I am
Pale as a ghost,
My identity blends into the walls
Becoming one with the bright glow,
And less real each day
My soul hobbles on one leg;
Lopsided and incomplete.
Shadows burn an inverted halo
around this blinding light
leaving me trapped in half oblivion
Author notes
I wrote this a few days ago. It's about wanting numb out and ignore something that's too painful to face, which is a tempting option sometimes, though it often backfires.
I'm open to revisions and tips in the wording, especially the ending
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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great descriptions. very vivid. it's easy to relate to.
"My soul hobbles on one leg;
Lopsided and incomplete.
Shadows burn an inverted halo
around this blinding light
leaving me trapped in half oblivion"
This stanza is especially good. Hobbles is a great word.
However, I'd write it like this:
"My soul hobbles on one leg;
Lopsided and incomplete.
Shadows burn an inverted halo
around the blinding light.
leaving me trapped in half oblivion."
Try not to put too many thoughts into one sentence. The sentiment will sink in deeper if you can try and individualize each thought.
Overall, a fantastic poem. -
beautiful poem..........powerful expressions
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