Eyes flare back beyond anxiety,
pressuring and pulling forth dreams
in which one cannot separate from reality--
She had given him a second chance,
praying he wouldn't break her heart;
he had failed as a lover, and worse
as a father.
A womb breaks open in the middle
of the night, forked tongues lapping
at droplets of blood escaping the wounds;
Still it doesn't matter.
Pale skin exits, covering shattered
bones and running placentas, eyes
closed and a pale mouth open
permanently
in silent screams.
Author notes
Prompt: “Second chances, they don’t ever matter, people never change.”
In a list
A contest entry
- Lyric Prompts. by August Starlight.
925 points, ended April 12, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling all gold and silver prize poems.. (Round 1) by xXGoddessofPainXx.
400 points, ended April 23, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You never know.... by Cyanide Dreams.
1640 points, ended May 12, 77 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me if there are any grammar/spelling mistakes?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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97
Title: 9/10
Originality: 10/10
Emotion: 10/10
Grammar/Spelling: 9/10
Flow/Structure: 10/10
Imagery: 10/10
Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 9/10
Reaction: 10/10
Rules: 10/10
Overall: 10/10
Totaling: 97/100
Wow. This blew me away. I loved how you started this with strong emotions and those emotions didn't faulter, not once, throughout the entire thing. Your emotion in this blew me away and gave me the feeling of pity for the poor character in your poem. I liked how well this read and I also liked how well this went. Your imagery was superb. There was nothing I didn't like about this poem. Great job and good luck in the contest.
Josh
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Haha lovely just dandy if I may say.. Na it's a good write I just have to say congrats.. Round 2 see you there.. Thanks again
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Oh wow. Thanks
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btw...
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I. Love. This.
I HATE the word placenta... except in this poem. I love your imagery, your word choice, your syntax... your take on the prompt... I'll stop rambling now... oh yeah thanks for entering and good luck. -
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Thank you
I'm glad you liked it so much ^_^
I hate the word Placenta too, but it was the first that formed into my head that actually made sense..
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