Your eyes never sparkle
They talk
They persuade
Plead
And coax
They throw me over white sand and undress me until I scream and want
Your mouth never speaks
But it smokes
With confidence
Curves with insult
Bites
With passion
Milks me and takes me with a fervor that is black and juiced
Your hands never lie
They shed me
Layer
By layer
Until I am naked
Unpolished
Me
Until my eyes sparkle
My mouth wants
Until I am everything you need to be complete
Author notes
My attempt at writing after 9 months
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
a successful attempt i would say. this is wonderful. very sensuous. the part about his mouth is the best part!
-
Well jeez, I loved this so much and am wondering how I missed it. It really is sweet and raw but so poetic. I especially love
"Your mouth never speaks
But it smokes
With confidence"
What a fantastic image. The poem really just speaks for itself. Wonderful write
Jeanette*~
-
sweet
-
do you really think of me that way?
*kidding*
simplicity is the most beautiful part about this piece. Most writers that attempt such try to give you every detail which is not really needed ...
i like this, a good strong piece.
-
Nice contrasts, very revealing in its almost sacred language of intimacy. Seeing the failings in the man but becoming complete when bodies meet and be enchanted by the need, the hunger you feed. Language almost magical and bespelling.
Love,
Tom B.
-
Loved the raw intensity here. loved the "shedding"..! great to see you writing again - you just keep going like this!
~ Nicolette
-
Your poetry still leaves me breathless O.O
<333
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
