word-pebbles splash,
mind’s surface smoothes, level changed
imperceptibly
Author notes
Prompt: mirrors and reflections
In a list
A contest entry
- HAIKU ~~~ MIRRORS AND REFLECTIONS by maa.
999 points, ended April 6, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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word-pebbles splash,
mind’s surface smooths, level change
imperceptibly
an intriguing scenario … maybe a guided meditation ?
usually, we’re invited NOT to throw thought-pebbles
into the lake, in order to smooth the surface, which now
reflects or allows a deeper gaze right to the bottom of the lake …
change of level in a literal and metaphorical manner …
I enjoy this take on the prompt, not a “traditional” haiku/senryu,
but it has the same effect !
thank you
ps. maybe : mind’s surface smoothes, level changes ?
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My head says No, no, no - it breaks to many "rules"...
My heart says Yes, yes, yes...
I like it, but I can't put my finger on why. That's a good thing.
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I appreciate that, especially coming from you, Mairi. I enjoy haiku and senryu like a fragrant breeze. I can recognize, savor, and define it, but struggle to produce it.
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Excellent Haiku which creates a fine picture one can relate to easily.
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Well I've read this one a number of times. I like the way it moves and sounds (read out loud its quite lovely). Well done.
KW~
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Wow! What a wonderful haiku. You've done wonderful on the prompt.
Kari
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