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Serenity Lake

Missing image
I am
submerged
in lake of denial.
I hear no words of hate,
see no horrid acts.
Experience no pain;
like a thief in the night,
robbing my sanity.

Floating among water flowers;
hair surrounds me like cirrus clouds and
my skin appears like velvet petals born on a thorned rose.
I breathe refreshing element;
bubble upon bubble my airways cleared of putrid ideas.
Soundly I slumber;
on a blanket of soothing liquid.
Chimeras of lilies and lotus.
Sway delicately,
in my minds eye.
Thus, releasing my cocoon of doubt.

Moisture whispers my name.
I am at peace.

Author notes

prompt is http://sugarock99.deviantart.com/art/Whispers-102189778

In a list

A contest entry

thoughts?

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 30 of 43     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • condor gold member
    November 21
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    Edit | Reply
    This is really very moving and emotional. Congratulations on the trohpies you have one with this as they were all well deserved indeed. This piece told the story of someone who nolonger deals with the insanity of life with its stupidity and uncaring ways and tells how she sleeps in the realm of peace within the clutches of the waters....gently rocked to sleep. So beautifully put across. Sad yet very comforting in a way. I suppose the sleeping in the waters is like the returning to the womb of mother nature. Thank oyu so much for sharing this wonderful piece.

  • whitecapsatmorn
    November 15
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    Edit | Reply

    powerful

    Your poem is incredibly moving. You have a real talent. I am new to AP but look forward to reading more of your work.

    whitecaps at morn

  • JToddUnderhill
    October 26

    Edit | Reply

    Nice one

    I am glad I chose this one to be my first read from you. It is so very well done as I can tell by the accolades laid upon this piece you are one gifted writer!


  • Rose Angel gold member
    October 23

    Edit | Reply
    This is my first read of yours, and I am so glad I came to read this unique and moving write...The picture alone gives many messages but your penning here, makes us think of the cocoon of life we could live in if it were as she...denial..
    Your imagery is profoundly effective here...This is bookmarked!


  • JadeNoxia
    October 18

    Edit | Reply

    Sensational!

    This is a masterpiece! You have an incredible gift and I'm glad I get to experience it! I love the subject you chose to do this poem on. In this world of chaos we wander in and out of our own daydream creations ~ worlds of lies with rivers of denial flowing through them ~ in a weird way searching for some peace of mind I suppose.


  • Nom de Plume
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    to me, this write is what I would imagine drowning to be like... I know... but they (its always them) say that drowning is a peaceful way to die (how THEY know this escapes me).. think you have done a grand job on the prompt, and the many trophies confirm this... i enjoyed reading this

  • DonutNinja
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    good poem, just all around well written, and not to long,the imagry was tastey and in good balance with the story.it had a calm analytical nature to it that I liked
    good job


  • MysticalRayne
    September 21
    Edit | Reply
    Another beautiful write - very talented ....

  • heylookaneuphemism
    September 12

    Edit | Reply
    There is a delicate tragic beauty surrounding this piece. The imagery is supurb, and your last line is what poetry is all about, compelling and powerful! I enjoyed reading this very much.


  • ButILoveHer silver member
    September 2

    Edit | Reply

    Truely beautiful

    This poem is so soft and touching
    I can't read it enough
    Even the picture has me staring in awe..
    Simply love this to pieces

    Vonnie ^_^

  • pkoirish
    August 19

    Edit | Reply

    love it

    this is a wonderful poem full of imagery and emotion. i especially love this stanza...I am
    submerged
    in lake of denial.
    I hear no words of hate,
    see no horrid acts.
    Experience no pain;
    like a thief in the night,
    robbing my sanity.

    i can see the truth in it..
    PKO


  • Black--Wings
    August 17
    Edit | Reply
    I like this piece, very descriptive and detailed giving me insant images in my mind.I feel this


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    wow, i can really relate i love this, beautiful write.
    if you don't mind, I just might tack this up on my way, crediting you of course (:

    great work

    x


  • Dragon21
    August 13
    Edit | Reply
    i love the last line. pretty!

  • Eusebius
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    A good write. One really gets the feeling of "otherworldliness" as well as denial... very deftly done piece! Loved it a ton!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    I will have what ever you had. such wonderful images.
    This should be entered in a contest.

    Joe

  • wonderful, this feels like i used to feel when i smoked weed, but like everything it changes, i enjoyed the lovey subtle feel to this poem and your choice of words made me feel calm throughout it, another lovely piece of writing, it was a pleassure to read, take care

  • this was a great write. i loved how you gave me a poem, but also gave me a story and some thoughts too...great write and thanks for entering

  • Lovely wtire

    This was na astounding poem. your imagry was so incredable, and andi could feel myslef with in the waters. it was a wonderful write nad congrads on winning hte trophies this poems well deserved them

  • J Macabre gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    wow i can feel the serenity in this just as the title says. I think alot of us wish to find a place that we can be wrapped in such peace.

  • What is it with sway?! I pick two of your poems at random they both involve sway. You tellin' me sumpin', girl?

    I like how you think your words and make the overall thought available. And the grammar is crystal.


  • tombruize
    June 16
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting

    You did well here... Keep it up!!

  • Wow! I love this one.. You did a great job. The ending does well with wrapping it up, but still leaves the reader with that ominous, "what just happened?" kind of feeling. It's really great.

  • division
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    Title: 10/10
    Content: 20/20
    Originality: 20/20
    Emotion: 10/10
    Imagery: 10/10
    Prompt: 20/20
    Grammar: 10/10
    Total: 100/100

    Comments:
    This was amazing! I absolutely loved every part of this poem! Your writing shows maturity as well, and your use of words are amazing! You are such a talented writer.

    My favorite part came at the ending. It really tied it all together and set a good mood! Great job and good luck!


  • DogFish silver member
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    Wounderful surreal imagry of water, escape, light, darkness, flowers and cloud...blurring reality and aspirations: is this death or rebirth.

    hypnotic!


  • Kathraina silver member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this piece is breathtaking!
    Lovely job. The imagery and flow here is amazing.
    Brilliant write!


    ♥ Kate

  • This is a very peaceful piece. I loved the imagery and the emotions. You related so well with the photo. I felt calm while reading. Nice ending. Thank you for entering and good luck.

  • 91

    Title: 9/10
    Originality: 10/10
    Emotion: 8/10
    Grammar/Spelling: 8/10
    Flow/Structure: 9/10
    Imagery: 10/10
    Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 9/10
    Reaction: 9/10
    Rules: 10/10
    Overall: 9/10
    Totaling: 91/100


    Wow, I really liked this piece. Your imagery and use of poetic devices were clear and painted a vivid picture in my mind. It was like drowning peaceful, the best dream in the world and the best way to die. I really enjoyed this piece. Great job and good luck in the contest.

    Josh

  • wow!! very impressive work here

1 - 30 of 43     1 2  next >  (show all)