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Daydream

 

 

 

Whenever I day dream,
and day dream I do,
in my secret garden,
I day dream of you.

 

I day dream of you,
in a faraway land;
embracing me tight
and holding my hand.

 

Holding my hand,
and touching my face.
Just you and me,
in this peaceful place.

 

In this peaceful place
a pristine river flows.
Where the unicorns run,
a breeze always blows.

 

A breeze always blows
and sings of a song;
our love in a place
where you're never gone.

 

Where you're never gone
is as it would seem,
from dusk until dawn,
whenever I day dream.

 

And whenever I day dream,
and day dream I do,
in my secret garden,
I day dream of you.

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Sheilasbabygal4life gold member
    1 day ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    I must say that this piece that you have written here was very enjoyable to read. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.


  • Mat Larkin
    November 15

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely sentiments and enjoyable technique... keep up the nice work....


  • The Dark Writer
    November 14

    Edit | Reply

    good

    I enjoyed the repetition on this poem, it flowed smoothly with Nicely sized stanza's. This was a pleasure to read. Thank you for sharing.

  • Michaelzaza
    November 14
    Edit | Reply
    nice form.


  • Blah Blah Blah
    November 14

    Edit | Reply
    The simplicity of this piece would make it a good poem for children to analyse and critique.


  • z etoile
    November 14

    Edit | Reply
    What a pretty poem and it has a nice ring to it. I liked it great job!!!


  • Kesiah Devoe
    November 14

    Edit | Reply
    Well done on this - I could picture that place so perfectly; the garden beyond the archway in the picture. It's lovely, it really is.


  • HiddenByTheDark
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is deffinatly my all time favorite of yours. I love how your last line becomes your first. It's different from the rest of your work, but not less within its greatness. I hope to one day reach the perfection within writing that you have grasped. You are an inspiration to at the very least me. Always enjoy reading your writes.. always continue :]
    <3 kate


  • Amana Araya Jabari
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is one o fmy favorites. I've read it like 10 times and just relized I haven't said it was my fave.

    so here you go


  • Kathraina silver member
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely lovely, once again.
    You're words always lift my heart!
    Wonderful job, my friend


    ♥ Kate


  • MuteForNow
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    can't help but wishing i was in this poem with you. the words have so much meaning and it really took my breath away.

    i love how you repeat the last line in each stanza. it's very beautifully written. not much of a suprise that you've stolen my heart again. finding my eyes frozen to your words, it's easy to let myself fade away into your imagination. wish i was there with you all the time, but you already knew that.


  • geckogirl silver member
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering


  • lostsouls12
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    its like i am melting all over again, you just know how to speak to the heart.


  • albymyheart gold member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    ohhhh...sighing now. How special is this! Everything about this is just adorable, the meter, rhyme, repetition, words, thoughts, display... So beautiful, lovely, magical, peaceful...Yeah, I really like this alby


  • maralisa silver member
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    a very beautiful poem good luck in the contestmaralisa


  • Delete---
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    Aww this is so cute! the rhyme and flow of it all is perfect, but I gotta admit hon you almost had me in a tonue twister xD hehe, Superb rhyme love. All my love,
    Message me ^^
    Lots of love,
    Bri xxx

  • Amana Araya Jabari
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    Awe taht is cute! It drips and flows right on to the next one.


  • Draig aine gold member
    March 31
    Edit | Reply

    beatiful cadence

    flowing and lovely thank you


  • Meroza
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    The title gives little away on how amazingly written this poem is, and the pattern that you are using is stunning and really show off how much talent you really do have.
    The poem is beautiful, it holds every emotion that a love poem should, and it leavs the reader with a peace and a sensation of being fulfilled.
    This is brilliant work, my raven.


  • ConjurerCaptainTam
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, sweet poem, i was gonna suggest you change "a breeze always blows" to something like "a light breeze blows" but then i realised your pattern with the last line of each stanza matching the first of the next. Nice way of doing it.

    Thanks for sharing,

    Tammy.M x

1 - 20 of 20