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fruit

Missing image

 

 

 

 

i

 

 

he jumped
from the ninth floor;
saw Satan as he
plunged
head
first




 

ii

someone dropped
around seven balloons
of thick tomato sauce
from a high place
and named it suicide

 

 

 

 iii

her bloodshot-red,
chipped-by-teeth nails
followed her palm
over her naval.
 

 

 

 iv

door bell fizzed.

 

 

Author notes

image credit

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • white stone
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    Red is my favorite color, so I really really loved this. It could be some weird short film or conceptual art piece. Purely aesthetic, and beautiful.


  • Undying Midnight
    April 13
    Edit | Reply

    I really like this. It's sad but it makes me think.

    Loved it!

  • SimplySonnets gold member
    April 1

    Edit | Reply

    Very interesting, first time I have read a vignette.

    Vignette, A brief evocative account or descrition.
    Well your writing certainly meets the dictionaries explanation.

    saw Satan as he
    plunged
    head
    first

    The evil imagery here is very clear, he has turned his family into victims.I think this opening Stanza is so powerful the rest can be said in perhaps three words.

    Your writing is an inspiration, I love this very complex form, will read more.

    Thank you for the introduction and your artistry.





    • silverscent gold member
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot for your comment. Glad you liked your first encounter with a vignette.


  • Magnetic Storm
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    Explain part ii? Is it a description of the man's remains? part iii contains good imagery... Never read a vignette before. I like how its just a snip it of a story and you are led to create both the beginning and end on your own.

    • silverscent gold member
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment. to answer your question, of course, it is a descriptions of the mans remains, after part i, what else could it mean?


  • TheStreetReverend
    April 1
    Edit | Reply

    vignette?

    beautiful really well done very bitter-sweet!


  • Xx.Toxic.xX
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    oh, my gosh! this is amazing. a very interesting read. though it took some thought to arive at the conclusion that she was pregnant, but that's what makes this piece so haunting.it left me wondering for a moment.


    • silverscent gold member
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the comment. glad you picked up the pregnant part. wasn't sure just how obvious it was.


  • Meroza
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is very interesting. I like how you split it all up, like small chapters in a book, a very good book. Tho the two last ones confused me a little, or it may just have been me missing the big point. Even so

    Good luck

    • silverscent gold member
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      The style is a vignette. The last two parts are about her waiting at home (pregnant) for him who has jumped. Then the last line is well, why else would the door bell ring after a suicide?
      Hope that help clear up the meaning.

1 - 12 of 12