will we make it?
can we stitch our hands together
so we're certain
we'll be this way forever
i feel you right behind me
you know im stressed out
speak; hurt me when you hold me
squeeze my peace out
im never ever calm
i killed a shooting star
to take its sedation
its enough to last me tonight
putting peace in me
ive got nowhere to fall
so i killed a shooting star
and took its sedation
to forget it
but im feeling guilty
i put peace in me
you'll squeeze it out
A contest entry
- Unsung Prewrites! by Justified Inc..
700 points, ended April 2, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My first Gold Trophy :) illnesses/diseases/madness by English.Muffin.
600 points, ended April 15, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wanna Break Down Sometimes? by XxMoonLiteAngelxX.
600 points, ended April 20, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Speechless. this poem was very emotional and intresting.. I loved the first few lines
"will we make it?
can we stitch our hands together
so we're certain
we'll be this way forever"
awesome poem! Keep on rocking with your talent!
hehe
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this poem is very interesting. Lovely structure and very ambiguous which makes it all the more thought provoking, great imagery and tecniques, as another has commented "killed a shooting star" is very interestingly put in, a great line in a great poem, thank you.
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creative write
This poem is so creative. I am mystified by the implications of "killing a shooting star" I wonder if it means more then I can grasp. It is quite an image and I like the tone and flow of the poem, just not quite understanding it. It makes me think of perhaps eliminating or using someone else's talents and success to ensure the stability of another.
Very interesting read and still has me contemplating different aspects of meaning. The ending...makes me feel like there is a self-sacrafical alter of oneself on the line.
Provoking poem.
Nice job,
Justified Inc.
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