Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Forever

My heart is a flower, closed and shut -
to ask it to open won't be good enough.
There lies no paddle luck, password or keys.
Just vow forever to stay with me.

And when my heart opens and no longer shuts,
you know what you've done has been enough.
If you trust me then your heart will open too
and let me stay forever with you.

Author notes

the topic's love, and the challenge was to be positive on the subject.

A contest entry

What do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • trista gold member
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    Well now..it's about dang time!!! (Like I should talk ) Okay...the poem...it's too short for what I know you've got inside you, but outside of that it's very sweet. And positive (what's up with that? lol) and to be honest...it feels like it's more of a start to something than a whole, finished piece...? Not sure...just think there oughta be more.

    Hope to see more from you now that you've got your feet wet again.

    Love ya honey,
    Your AP Mom
    P.S. Be careful with those "sh" words. (And "s" s in general) You didn't overkill here, but much more and you'd have a tongue twister.


  • DevinCora
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is very simple and sweet... I hope you don't find it offensive but this would be beautiful inside a card. Because it packs so much emotion into such little lines. I like it...