Attempting to write sweet sonnet's I find...
Confusion follows my every word,
Syllable counts drive me out of my mind,
And should this line rhyme, with the first or third?
I think i'm going a little crazy,
Mr Shakespeare please, will you help me out,
Parameters leave me oh! so hazy,
And iambic what-not's fill me with doubt,
A true sonneteer? to admit I am not,
But faced with the challenge I've tried my best,
These words may read like a pile of old rot,
But this is the way they fell off my chest.
And now ...it's time for me to rest my head,
So I'm off up stairs in search of my bed.
"Wyleian Sonnet CCXLVIII" Georgina. March 31st 2009.
In a list
A contest entry
- A Royal Sonnet Contest. ONLY FOR MEMBERS of HUGH WYLES’ FAVOURITES’ GROUP. by hugh wyles.
850 points, ended March 31, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Congratulations Georgina on winning Honorable mention.
Joan
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Very good
Well, we know how you feel about sonnets. I wrote some lines like that in 2004 when I was starting out:
this sonnet brings my thanks in metric rhyme.
Perfection is a dream, the form's perverse!
but then it grabbed my imagination and I wrote a couple of hundred of them.
The rhyme scheme is very good, and Hugh will teach you meter if you ask.
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Dear Georgina, I salute you for your first wonderful Sonnet.
They are hard to master, I myself am still learning but getting there with Hugh's teaching. Good luck.
Joan
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you are a poet after me own heart!!!
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I love this humorous input of the Sonnet I wish my own had garnered such approval. I'm not finished yet, though... a master sonneteer I shall become... Yeah, right
You're is very good, though and I wish you best of luck in the contest
Dee
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My dear Georgina,
For one who, lack of sonnet skill, avows
and claims to suffer cerebral confusion,
you seem to have a clear grasp of the 'hows'
and, after all, the 'whys' are just illusion.
Your tetrameter sonnet clearly shows
a grasp of anapaestic variation
which, as the seasoned sonneteer well knows,
one usually employs with hesitation.
Iambic meter you have handled fine;
your rhyming, Shakespeare wouldn't have done much neater
except, perhaps, in just the thirteenth line
which lapses from tetra- to penta- meter.
If, as you say, the words "fell off your chest"
you must possess a most inspiring breast !! (WOW !!)
~~~
Why not, for that thirteenth line, just:
"And now....it's time for me to rest my head," ??
I'm thrilled that you sneaked this in before closing time.
Thankyou for entering. I LOVE your sonnet!! LOL
Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh.
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Nice work Georgina.
I'll stick to limericks myself.
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