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why the rose?

it's no doubt why the rose is the blossom of love
one petal for every sorrow it may bring
worst one, the rotting seven petal flower
with the smell of decay, putrid and sweet
seven petals, for seven sorrows
for the sorrows of love are the greatest of all


The first petal

he who once was rich
now lies in squalor
desire left him with nothing
now he hardly gets by
she's livin' big
already with another man


the second petal

the nicest man on earth
turned bitter by the sorrows of love
kindness flees his shadow
the love of his life gone
the world has beaten him
leaving a rotting soul


the third petal

the man who was left
sits there in boredom
mind-blowing, intense boredom
he feels nothing
left here in his thought
reveling in his abandon


the fourth petal

once he was popular
now he's a hermit
his friends have all left
he devoted all his time
to the one who left him
now, no-one comforts his degenerate shell


the fifth petal

his melancholy is now great
he feels his heart beat
like it's trying to get out
his head is pounding
as if it was trying to figure it out
why she left him


the sixth petal

now he envies the man
who stole her from him
the man that has his everything
leaving him with a cup half empty
he hates the feeling
it leaves him powerless


the seventh petal

when the seventh petal falls
it's always the last
it leaves remorse, anger, and bitter feelings in the dirt
it shows that you were weak
there are many ways to do it
death is the last sorrow of love, the last petal you may


now do you see

now the answer i hope is clear
i hope that no-one shed a tear
when death is called to play
thoughts are pointless
and it's best not to reason

Author notes

poem i wrote a long time ago when a friend of mine asked me y the rose symbolized love, i was kinda depressed and wrote this for her.
___

“In my nothing, you were everything, to me.” –Trent Reznor

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • SincerelyMegan
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    I love the format of this poem, it was exactly what I was looking for.
    I like it when poets divide up poems like you did. I tend to write like that myself sometimes.


    "he feels nothing
    left here in his thought
    reveling in his abandon"

    I really connected to these lines. I felt that it showed his misery well.


  • FluorescentFixation
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    This was a very unique write. I never would have imagined a person whose life was ruined by love to represent each petal. Although it certainly makes sense. My favorite lines were:

    "he feels his heart beat
    like it's trying to get out"

    I love that entire stanza, the one about the fifth petal. Maybe because I can connect to it so well.

    If I could recommend you change anything, it would be to try to make the poem less repetitive. There were certain parts where it seemed you were repeating the same ideas over.

    But otherwise, this is a great write, good luck in the contest!


  • BrokenHeartsInVain
    April 27
    Edit | Reply
    It's a very good poem, very original.
    Thank you for entering, and good luck in the contest. ♥

  • thenorthernstar
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    This was very clever i really loved this poem you did such a great job i like how you used the rose to sybolize betrayal instead of love that was a very neat twist. Thanks for entering


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    i likre the originality of the poem here although the font color could use a change. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest

  • SapereAude11
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    Turns a long-held belief on its head, that the rose symbolizes the beauty of love. You talk all about the other side of that, which I like


  • MysteriousWhisper
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    excellent.great and clear conclusion. full of thoughts. flows really well. great job and good luck in the contest!

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    I also loved this piece step into the life of love and all the trials and joys great write best to you in the contest be well. Thanks for supporting our first contest


  • aboomer silver member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this - great depth! I love how you have taken love, step by step, through the broken heart stages, the deep pain that is left behind - and done it all with rose petals! how creative! You have great emotion in this, great images for one to see the broken shell of what is left when love goes wrong.....
    nicely done!!

    Thanks so much for supporting our contest! Hoping to see you return again and again! Best wishes.


  • islekine gold member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply

    Nicely done!

    Petal by petal! Hope to see your talent again and again!
    Best wishes now and always!
    Write on!

    and

1 - 11 of 11