The darkness is overwhelming
and getting deeper every second
The depression grows.
It’s fed like air to a wildfire,
and spreads with each breath.
Empty and alone,
the despair is well known.
I’m slipping away.
Will you reach out and save me
or will you let me fall?
You ask what I’m thinking,
and how I feel.
I wish I could answer these simple questions.
I’m drowning in confusion,
My world has changed,
I feel empty and alone.
I know you say you’re there, but are you?
I’ve never trusted a single soul.
Emotionally scarred,
unable to let go,
and afraid to get close
I’m an empty shell.
Avoiding all deep emotions
by just barely skimming the surface
Am I really all that cold?
Beautifully broken
and all alone,
I wish I could let go
A contest entry
- PAINFUL MEMORY!!! by DeathisSweet.
575 points, ended April 2, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beautiful Genius. by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended April 1, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - quickie: sad poems. by wecanbreatheagain.
900 points, ended April 2, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Love To Feel ( AP Family) by AngelBellerose.
900 points, ended April 6, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - .:. Take My Breath Away .:. by DecorusApparatus.
1400 points, ended April 14, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire me. by Simp.
550 points, ended April 4, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Contest by tears.of.silence.
1000 points, ended April 18, 401 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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I like it, you manage to express many things in a few words. I like the simplicity of the whole.
And this is my favorite part:
It’s fed like air to a wildfire,
and spreads with each breath.
Empty and alone,
the despair is well known. -
this is beautiful. I love the way you were just so emotional about the whole poem. Excellent work. You have two poems in the contest so the points will be divided. You receive a 48 for this poem. Great work. Thanks for entering and best of luck toyou. kahy
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Thanks for entering my first contest.
I like this line, 'I know you say you’re there, but are you?'
And the end.
Am I really all that cold?
Beautifully broken
and all alone,
I wish I could let go
Nice jo -
Ouch.
This hurt, but I really enjoyed it.
Pretty title, and hit very close to home.
Thank you for entering this into my contest.
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I feel the depression oozing in this poem and the fear you are not there.. very good write and Good Luck in the contest Hugs Angel♥
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Thank you!!!
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Quote- "I’ve never trusted a single soul."
I know that feeling all too well... beautiful write!
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It sucks that some of feel this way... It makes it hard to have any type of relationship. Anyways thanks for the comment
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sometimes i feel this way myself: shying away from others and retreating inside myself to keep safe, too suspicious and nervous about letting anyone close. you expressed this feeling well. plus, i like the image of being "beautifully broken". thank you for entering.
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I do it entirely too much... Thank you giving me honorable mention it was a pleasure to be part of your contest
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Ooo..I like this. I love the flow of thoughts here. Nice job!
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wow
This is what it's all about! I am so glad you are here on AP. You are quite talented and I believe you have a lot more to share. Amazing.
Lauren
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wow wow wow that was...woow! lol
i was reading ur other comments and this is ur 2nd poem u ever wrote!?....DAAAAMN!#
YOU
HAVE
A
GIFT!!!
that was incredible...thats all i can say!
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Yes it is. Thank you!
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Will you reach out and save me
or will you let me fall?
Awwww.
You have some amazing lines in here, it's hard to pick soem out. So many of these lines I have felt, and can personally relate to.
An amazing write.
A little suggestion for you, try using stanzas. It breaks the poem up, means it's less arduous to read, and easier to take in.
Again, just a suggestion...
Awesome write
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Truthfully this is the second poem I have ever written. Thank you for the creative criticism!
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I love it!!!! your an awesome poet
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Thank you!
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The title reminds me of a wonderful book "Broken for You", are you familiar with it?
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No, I've never heard of it.
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this is deep and powerfully moving...reads as though you can feel the darkness swallow. A heartfelt write. Enjoyed
I see you're new here...welcome to AP
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I am thank you for the welcome to AP and the comment!
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omfg I loved this I can relate...
I'm here if u need 2 talk -
I loved it I loved the title. It reminds me of Ashley Simpson's song: Beautifully Broken, and Switchfoots song: Beautiful Let Down. Great work.
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this poem is simply beautiful...
it reminds of a book i read once...
about a girl who suffered from deep anxiety and depression aftr her dad left...
only...i like the poem better than the book ^^.
you are truly talented.
lovage,
Alyx -
Wow the imagery you have used is really powerful...this poem is filled with pure emotion and feeling....i really liked it!
I especially like the title...it's so strong and emotive.
My favourite lines are:
'I’m slipping away
Will you reach out and save me?
Or will you let me fall?'
Shows our dependency on others...and how we really can fall and be broken without being saved.
A great write well done!
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wow
I loved it. It was brilliant, I can definitely relate and I loved the way you wrote it and brought emotion across there. I particularly likes 'Just skimming the surface
Am I really all that cold?'
Great write.
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