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Vast Desert

Quietly I walk down this road,
vast deserts sourround me.
No clouds over head,
the sun beating down its rays.

Nothing can be seen in the distance,
I begin to wonder how I got here.
A small gust of wind passes,
I stand still to embrace it.

I suppose in the end,
this desert is my mind.
Empty and vast,
nothing to be seen.

A small gust of wind,
similar to a great thought.
A rare thing indeed,
something to embrace.

Perhaps one day,
this desert will flourish.
I will no longer be lost,
able to embrace every moment.

Author notes

Something a bit new, something a bit different.

Please give me any and all thoughts on what you think of this. Whether it be how to fix it up or what it makes you think. All thoughts on it are appreciated.

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    May 11

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    we all get in a rut sometimes and feel as if we are walking backwards instead of forward...I think you have express these moments quite well here inside this piece. I enjoyed it very much. thanks for sharing. peace and light, kp

  • snolan
    April 14

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice!

    I realy enjoyed this piece, however there are a few things I would change about it. First and foremost would be your background or your font, it makes it a little difficult to read, secondly, one line for me didn't seem to... flow right "A small gust of wind/ similar to a great thought." Have you given any thought to making it a simile? Perhaps "A small gust of wind/ like a great though." or "A small gust of wind/ as rare as a great thought." and get rid of the third line of that Stanza. Either way its, your choice. I love the sense of abandonment and Isolation you get from this poem, and It truly is written very well! Congrats on a job well done.

    Snolan


  • tortured-heart
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    i like it! and I totally know how this feels!
    peace, love, & cheese


  • individuality gold member
    March 31

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    a good poem, we all lsoe ourselves sometimes in the mind's desert, but thankfully thoughts will water the spirit and we will find escape.


  • Fillthee Nae
    March 31

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    very relatable. I think of my mind as a gutter though. lol love this, very intense yet simple enough to grasp. <3


  • arafura gold member
    March 30

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    I like the concept of the mind as an empty desert and the swirling thoughts as gusts of wind. This is very well written and you have put a lot of thought into it. Excellent!


    • Hate-And-Pain
      March 30
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you my friend, as usual your thoughts are well appreciated. I value your word over most others.


  • Nephlim
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    I love the calm tranquility of this. It portrays the still life of a desert. The analogy between a desert and your mind was also nicely played, especially equating the wind with a thought. ^-^

    GREAT job
    diggin it majorly


  • LadyTzimisce
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is somewhat sad in a sense, it speaks of innernturmoil of loss of self. I am sorry if it is a reflection but i can assure you your thoughts are deeper then you credit yourself for.

1 - 9 of 9