stolen

i was young when i met you
you became my first childhood love.
a few years later
we got to the age that meant growing up.
we would hang out, laugh and play.
you leaned in and kissed me.
your hands started to explore but i said no more.
you never listened to a word i said.
you forced me on my knees
all i could do was beg and plead.
you shoved me into the wall
and forced yourself into my mouth so i couldn't scream.
i gagged, i was sick, i couldn't wash this feeling away.
you heard my father calling me
you ran away.
i got up and dusted myself off
ran home, slunk into bed, and cried real tears for the first time.
i'd never be a child again.
you stole it.
you stole my childhood and my laugh.
i'd grown up way too soon,
long before i planned.
i've never forgotten what you've done,
although it was six years ago,
the day is imprinted in my mind.
i'm scarred, turning away, inside myself.
i used to be happy,
i used to laugh, amile
i loved life.
heh. i loved myself.
now i don't even know who i am
i just wanted to run as soon as it happened
i'm still running in my mind.
when i think about it my legs quake, my heart breaks.
i just want to run every time i see you.
my soul escapes my body with every breath i take when you're around me.
my throat closes, my heart stops.
i die whenever i see you.
i feel helpless, alone, lost, stolen, like a little child.