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senryu 2


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

see my son

 

making mistakes –

 

my young face

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 48 of 48

  • Tirrell
    April 29
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and touching, I love this one.
    Congrats on the trophy.


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    claps!


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    April 18

    Edit | Reply

    Hoodwinked!

    Excellent piece that shows the way in which we can see those that follow us in our own reflection.

    Perfectly penned piece here.
    Congrats on the trophy

    Sorry that I am late with the hoodwink!
    Shari


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, how I wish I could learn to write something as beautiful and formed as you have. How does one write these pieces. Brilliant to see the reflecton of yourself in your child's eyes but no so much when you see the same mistakes. Congratulations on your bronze

  • cool...see yourself in your son...he does what you did...but now you see it from a different POV...you are a great mom, i bet...great job and congrats on the bronze...

  • HOODWINKED!!!

    Very nice piece congrats on your trophy win for this piece best wishes always have a great week


  • haikumonk gold member
    April 6
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful, insightful poem with a a rich resonance.

    Don

  • mina nagi
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautifully done.... congratulations on winning bronze...

    mina


  • paulcreates silver member
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    ...and I would never trade that experience for youth again either. My son is now living with me (16) and I know exactly what you mean. Down through life the earlier one learns to embrace one's mistakes the better too.
    Simple and beautiful Miari, congratulations on the bronze.

    Paul


  • debilynn gold member
    April 4

    Edit | Reply

    HOOD~WINKED!!!

    written with a mothers heart and so very true. fantastic imagery. you are being hoodwinked by a poetic bandit. enjoy your spotlight. God bless you always




  • Dalaney gold member
    April 2

    Edit | Reply

    + a

     

    Love, Lane

  • HOODWINKED !!!

    This is a clever and thoughtful senryu that transcends generational spans is a worthy reflection. Well done! Write On!

    You have been Hoodwinked by the Poetic Bandits today because WE CARE!

    Dennis


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    April 2
    Edit | Reply
    forgot the clappies


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    April 2

    Edit | Reply

    hoodwinked

    Parents see themselves in their children. They will make mustakes. There is no getting round that. The only thing we can do is learn from them.


  • grannyeri gold member
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    You have been HOOD-WINKED by The Poetic Bandits. This is your day in the spotlight - enjoy. Love your author page - such beautiful pictures, crisp and a great way to tell about who you are. Love this poem you penned here too.
    We all make mistakes as we grow up, and even when we are older. LOL Great prompt - unique way of interpretation. Have a good day!


  • Melodies
    April 2

    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINK

    Happy to come by and be treated by your penning! Your poem made me smile and think how true the message is and how beautifully you wrote it.

  • Purrsanthema
    April 1
    Edit | Reply
    What an interesting interpretation of the prompt!

  • HOOKWINKed

    Beautiful reflections of you child


  • azure85 gold member
    April 1

    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINKED!

    see my son
    making mistakes –
    my young face

    This is a timeless senryu, full of the reflection of life and reflection on the next generation. Skillfully written, it is one we view quite often, but never ponder on it, as you did in this haiku.

  • Profound...

    enough said


  • Amera gold member
    April 1
    Edit | Reply


  • maa gold member
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    a very powerful and truly touching scenario created through only 10 syllables ! I love haiku/senryu that uses the least syllables possible, but doesn't sound incomplete ...
    a very insightful realization to be able to see ourselves in others ... especially when it comes to flaws ... your senryu is like a mini spiritual lesson ...
    great job, both in form and content ...


  • hawkeslake gold member
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    Oh -- take my breath away in three lines! Wow. Lita


  • Mirthryl
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    Parental perspectives. Touching


  • pixiestix gold member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    It's so difficult when we see ourselves in our children making the same mistakes. Hoping to save them the trials, we give them the guidance of our experience. Unfortunately many difficult, worthwhile lessons need to be learned first hand. So, we watch them and relive an emotional fragment of our past and help them pick up the pieces.

    So much in so few words.

  • Oh, I like the 3-5-3! So cool, you are quite the renegade!! Wouldn't expect anything less from a Scot.

    Some of my best days have been spent in St. Andrew's, Carnoustie, Troon, Edinborough and right smack dab in the middle at Gleneagles golf course.

    Never been to the highlands, which I deeply regret and plan to take my son there when he is older.

    My favorite is just outside Glasgow, mere minutes from Prestwick, where my wife and I sat by a river at 3:00 am with still a hint of sun in the firmament.

    We drank beers and cuddled- a memory I don't deserve but will never relinquish.

    Made many friends there, one in fact came to the states and married my brother-in-law.


  • Heroesrox
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for sharing. Good piece.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    The mirror of time reflects our lost youth in our children.
    Well done.
    Buddy

  • Absolutely -- hurts to let them fall down though.

    Ace


  • yukitosumi
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    aww a very touching and well-written haiku. Our children's faces do make the best mirrors. Or so my parents would lead me to believe.
    Best,
    y + s

  • Bad Bill
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    I'm impressed - in just eight words you've managed to incorporate parental worry, generation gap, distribution of genetic traits, life, death and the mysteries of the universe. In short, the full mashings.
    Brilliant!

    Bill


  • cricketjeff gold member
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    Yep
    'cept needs to be plural ...

1 - 48 of 48